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He pulled at the edge of the fabric, unwrapping it from my waist. His hands were soon red. When it was off, his eyebrows lifted, and his mouth fell open.
I took a deep breath and looked down. Every ugly color had come together to create a blotchy bruise on my entire left side, complete with angry red veins branching from the dark hole in the center. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to un-see it. “All right. I’m glad you’re the one doing this.”
I suspected it made Graham sick too, but he didn’t show it. He gently dabbed at the wound with a cloth.
“You should be a doctor,” I said. “If you weren’t going to be king, I mean.”
He set the towel down. “AmI going to be king?” he said so softly that I wasn’t sure he meant for me to answer. He lifted a new bandage and started wrapping it around my waist.
I gripped the ground to fight the pain, but the fine sand slipped through my fingers, giving me nothing to hold.
He reached the bandage around my back. “I know it hurts, but you’ll heal fast.”
I gritted my teeth. “You don’t have to lie to me.”
He tugged the fabric tighter and secured it. “That should mean you don’t have to lie to me either.”
I shook my head. “I won’t.”
“Really?” He paused and looked up. “Are you ready to tell me the truth now?”
I dropped my eyes. Which truth? The truth about who I really was? The truth about how I’d used him? Or the truth that he’d won me over so completely that my heart had written an entirely new definition of loyalty?
I was done with lies, but not brave enough for the truth, so I took the easy way out and uttered the most cowardly words of my life. “You shouldn’t have jumped in after me.”
“Excuse me?” He finished the bandage and pulled his hands away. “You were shot while trying to rescue Nevin. Now you’re suggesting I should’ve let you drown?” He shook his head.
I looked down at my hands. “I’m sorry.”
He stood and scanned the shoreline. “Which way to the village?”
I moved to stand. “It’s . . . .” My head seemed to drain of blood, and I collapsed in the sand.
He knelt in front of me. “Do you need more time?”
“Yes.Yes.” I couldn’t change what would happen, but I could delay it a little longer. Tonight would be the new moon, which meant they wouldn’t set sail until morning.
His blue eyes lit up with gold from the fire. “If we wait, it could get worse.”
“If we walk, it could get worse.”
“That’s not what your father would say.”
I sighed. What would my father say? “Maybe he was wrong.”
Graham’s frown softened. “So you’re choosing my side now?”
I wanted to. Ilongedto, but the war wouldn’t go away if I didn’t follow through. And my father would never have the daughter he deserved. No matter what I chose, it would be wrong. “I’m not sure I have a choice,” I finally said.
He leaned closer. We didn’t touch, but I shamefully wished we did.
“I was never desperate to be king,” he said.
His words took me off guard. I felt dizzy in two ways.
He pressed his lips together and his eyes bore into mine. “It’s possible that you could’ve convinced me to give it up, to run away, to find a new life. Someone else could have taken the throne.”
I stared at him, my gaze burning with remorse I couldn’t hide. I blinked and tried to cool the fire, but it was too late. Guilt was like love. It could remain hidden for the longest time, but once it made an appearance, there was no stopping the world from seeing it in the smallest of glances. I turned my head down so my hair covered my face.
