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I fought the pull of sleep, afraid to close my eyes for more than a few seconds. The dryness in my throat made it hurt to breathe. How much worse did Graham feel? I’d never imagine myself as stronger than him again. I laughed aloud, feeling a strange urge to tell him—to tell him that and more—but I stopped myself, recognizing it for what it was: the beginnings of delirium.
With my weakness came anger, and a desire to blame everyone who’d gotten us here. Cael. The king. The outlaws. The storm. I could blame them all, but it was a lie. This was my fault. I’d practically murdered Graham myself.
The compass fell from my hands and rolled across the deck toward Graham.
I went after it, ending up on my knees by his door again. I clutched it in my hands and looked at Graham’s face. If we were going to die, it didn’t matter if he knew my secrets.
“Graham.” His name scraped against my tongue and I moved closer to him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m not who you think I am . . .” My voice gave out and I leaned over, pressing my forehead to his.
The next thing I knew, I was riding in a carriage through Cambria. It took us through the winding streets, higher and higher, up toward the Academy. My father sat beside me, beaming with a pride I’d only dreamed of.
I looked to my other side, surprised to see my mother there—alive. I smiled at her, expecting her to glow with pride as well, but her warm, copper brown eyes hardened.
Cael sat there, too, dressed in a distinguished suit. My parents also wore noble clothing. I looked down to see what kind of finery I was wearing, but it was only a man’s shirt and trousers. They were dirty and torn, stained with something that looked like blood. I wasn’t meant to be here.
“Stop the carriage!” I wanted to say, but when I opened my mouth, the rush of waves was all I heard.
Waves. Not the random rippling of water on the hull, but consistent, regular ones.
I lifted my head from my disorienting dream to find myself lying next to Graham in the cabin.Was I dreaming?Or am I dreaming now?And what was this pounding in my head? If I could just have a nice drink of water, I could make sense of it all.
The boat crashed with a jolt.Need to get off. I couldn’t remember why, but it seemed like the right thing to do.
Wait.
Graham breathed erratically, like he couldn’t catch a decent breath. I wanted to stay with him, but—
Get water,my mind whispered.
I pulled away from him and crawled out of the cabin to the edge of the boat.
My eyes glazed over as I returned to Cambria and saw my father beaming at me. Then Cael took his place, his satisfied smile cruel and mocking. I’d done something terrible and he knew it. My mother appeared next, her disappointment a strong contrast to Cael’s pride. She, too, knew what I’d done.
I reached for the door of the carriage and dropped to the hard cobblestones, trying to grasp at a memory that remained just out of reach. I looked down. I stood in a few feet of water on a rocky shore. I stepped forward, moving onto the land, but after a few steps, my legs couldn’t carry me. My heart fluttered unevenly within my chest as if it had forgotten how it used to beat. I had to get water. But how could I, when ten steps seemed like ten miles?
The city streets returned, and my father stood in front of me. A brass goblet materialized in his hand.
“Please. Let me drink.” I reached for it, fumbling for a grasp.
Cool water went down my throat, stinging, but life-giving, all the way to my belly. It seemed so real.
“Thank you, Father,” I said. “Don’t forget about Graham.” Yes, that was his name. How could I have forgotten?
“Father?”
The voice jerked me back to reality. The goblet became a barrel and my father disappeared, along with the city. The vision plunged into darkness.
“Where am I?” I asked, blinking my dry eyes.
“Gellor,” the irritated voice said.
“Are you . . . Cael?” I squinted, not sure if I was hallucinating.
“I’m definitely not your father.”
I was too grateful just then to hate him. He had water. That was infinitely more valuable than kindness.
Cael brought the barrel to my lips again.
