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JACK
The Chance RapidsChristmas parade wasn’t fancy when I was a kid and, twenty years later, it seemed like all of the floats were exactly the same. Flatbed trucks and tractors were decorated with silver tinsel and multicolored Christmas lights, but the energy was upbeat and excitement was in the air. The high school marching band tuned their instruments while the local dance studio kids practiced their routines.
The local hockey team, the Chance Rapids Bobcats, all dressed in their matching warmup suits, were armed with buckets of candy to throw at the kids who weren’t in the parade.
I wasn’t sure how Dave and Simon would react to the hustle and bustle of the parade, but they were rescued from a petting zoo years ago, and they didn’t seem to bat their long eyelashes as I secured the felt antlers to their heads with a shoestring tied under their chins.
Luckily, Dave and Simon wouldn’t have to be harnessed to any sleigh. I don’t think that they would’ve been as easy going if I’d tried to do that. Santa’s sleigh sat atop the flatbed of Ray’s tow truck and plywood reindeer were secured to the sides. The Alpaca were to walk in front of Santa’s sleigh, behind the fire truck.
“Jack!” It was Freddie, waving wildly, dressed in his firefighting uniform. “Come on over and meet the guys.”
I pointed to the straw chewing duo next to me. “I can’t leave these two asshats unattended. They like to eat pompom hats.”
Freddie’s laugh was loud and could be heard over all of the commotion. The dance studio kids were all dressed as elves and every single one of them had a fiery red pompom attached to their long hats. “We’ll come to you then.”
Five guys who I recognized from around town, came over with Freddie to meet me. “Glad you’ve decided to join us and not those SAR clowns.” Nick, who I recognized from the lumber yard at the hardware store laughed, and pointed to the Search and Rescue Crew who were all wearing their matching jackets.
I didn’t tell Nick that I would’ve joined SAR if I’d had more time. “They’re missing their red shoes and tiny car.” I smiled. The volunteer fire department members were well respected, but known to be the party crew. Their practices usually ended with a case or two of beer and I think a lot of the guys used it as an excuse to go drink with their buddies on Tuesday night.
Nick guffawed. “They’re jealous of our truck.” He made the universal big rig honking motion by pumping his arm and whoever was sitting in the driver’s seat of the big red truck obliged. The elves jumped in surprise, the bells on the tips of their pointy shoes jingling in unison, and then they all starting pumping their arms.
It was pandemonium, and for the first time, Dave and Simon seemed nervous. They stamped their two-toed feet on the concrete and Simon started to back away from the loud noises. “Freddie. Can you get him to stop?”
Freddie nodded and ran to the truck. The driver stuck his arm out the window and gave me a wave, flashing the lights for the kids in place of the ground shaking bass of the foghorn.
“Is that better?” Freddie returned. “We don’t need a grandma got runover by a reindeer scenario.” He patted Dave’s neck.
“At least if it was an alpaca, they’d have to update the song,” I chuckled.
Freddie grinned. “Yeah, grandpa got knocked over by a Llama.”
As if Simon understood, he stomped his hoof on the ground. “They’re Alpacas.” I corrected Freddie. “And they are as dumb as they look. They definitely might kick over a grandpa or two.”
Simon and Dave started pulling on their leads and Simon reared up, braying loudly. I shook my head. “This could’ve been a bad idea.” I stroked Simon’s flank. “Easy boy. Easy,” I coaxed, silently cursing my mom for volunteering these old guys for the parade.
“I’ve got an idea.” Freddie disappeared into the crowd and returned with two elf hats. He handed one to me and put the other on in place of his firefighter helmet.
“What’s this for?” I stared at the hat in my hand.
“You said they like the pompoms. We can walk in front of them. Keep them focused on us – and not all of the grandpas.”
I sighed and replaced my wool hat with the red and green striped elf hat. “It’s actually a good idea.” I handed him Dave’s rein. “Here you go.”
A woman with a loudspeaker yelled. “Places everyone, places.”
The snow had started to fall in big fat flakes, the kind that seemed designed for a snowglobe, or a Santa Claus parade. Through the flakes the most perfect looking Santa was heading my way, with my mom’s friend Mary, dressed as Mrs. Claus on his arm. Santa’s beard was as white as the snow and his cheeks were as rosy as the hat that I was wearing.
“Hi Jack.” Mary waved.
“Hi Mar—” I stopped myself. “Mrs. Claus.” There were children around after all. While Mary waited for the step ladder to be set up so she could mount the float, she introduced me to Santa.
“This is Shawn. He’s here filming the movie,” Mary cast Shawn a glance and looked like she was holding in a smile. “That’s where we got these perfect costumes.” She held out the skirt of her costume and curtseyed.
Unlike the rest of the shabby looking costumes that were probably sewn in 1973, Mary and Shawn’s outfits were made from lush looking velvet, and their wigs looked like real hair.
“Are those…Alpaca?” Shawn squished the felt antler on Simon’s head.
“They’re reindeer today.” I shrugged. “You’re looking at Donner and Blitzen.”
