Page 110 of Always Him

I whisper to him when he’s fast asleep, hoping his brain absorbs my words even if he can’t hear them.

“You are beautiful. Perfect. Everything I want. I love you. You. Only you.”

twenty-eight

LANDON

I wakeup in bits and pieces. My dad. My mom. A man with dark soulful eyes, they’re leaking, crying. He’s crying.

Who is he? He’s someone. Someone to me. Someone important, I can feel it.

I can feel him.

But fuck, my head hurts. A sharp, incessant pain. It’s too hard to remember right now. It’s painful to think and so I just close my eyes and drift off back to sleep.

* * *

I wake up in a fog.

Are we moving? I feel a sway.

Andhe’sthere again. A name. His name.

Finn.

My Finn. My best friend. Yes, I know him. I feel him.

He’s mine.

His hand is clasped in mine, rough and strong. I’ve had those hands on me. I know it. He’s a part of me.

Finn. My best friend. More than that. More. He’s more. I canfeelit.

“Finn,” I say, my voice raspy and hoarse.

His face appears in my blinking, blurred vision. Those eyes, lost and sad. Why is he so sad?

“Hey,” I say softly, my hand clasped in his.

“Landon,” he replies, his voice cracking, raw. As if he’s been yelling. Why was he yelling? Why? Did something happen?

God, my eyes feel heavy. So tired. Like when they put me under to amputate my leg.

My leg. Oh fuck. Not again.

I quickly wiggle my foot, and relief surges through me when I feel it. Okay, so I still have one. But something is missing.

Something I can’t quite place.

“Finn,” I say again, and there he is, my best friend, leaning over me, tears streaking down his cheeks.

“Hey,” he says, that voice so familiar. “God, you’re awake. Landon…”

He trembles, pulling me closer and I lean into him, my head splitting with a fierce headache.

“Say my name again,” I whisper and he does.

God, yes. This. More. Something more.

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