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And everyone’s not telling me something but no matter how much I try to get them to, they just blubber and deflect like we all usually do.
“Logan,” I say, leaning over toward him. He’s sitting on the couch with Theo on his lap. Everyone’s trying to pretend everything is normal, but it’s not fucking normal. Something is bugging me. “You’re not telling me something.”
Logan flushes red and he shrugs, Theo on his lap squirming a little. So, Theo is in on it too.
“Tell me,” I say and Logan swallows.
“He’d kill me. We promised,” he mutters and then looks away, scooting over a little.
My eyes narrow as I grow more and more upset. My mind is all muddled and scrambled and I just want to know what they’re not saying.
“Someone tell me!” I shout and the entire room grows silent. My mom and dad look over from their place in the kitchen and Finn looks at me through glossy eyes.
And when my mom looks at him, placing a hand on his arm, he shakes his head, just once but it’s enough of a shutdown to have me pushing up off the couch. I wobble slightly and when Finn moves toward me, I slice my finger across my neck dramatically and he stumbles to a stop. I storm into my room and slam the door.
I stew in silence, my chest hurting, the secret everyone is keeping from me making me angrier and angrier until I’m panting.
God, I’m going to pass out from hyperventilating. I shut my eyes and I try to focus, but there are only vague feelings about something I can’t put my finger on. Frustrated tears roll down my face and I curl up into myself, sobbing lightly.
Why does this always happen to me? Why can’t I just catch a break?
The door creaks open and Finn moves in. I can smell him, feel him even when I don’t see him.
“Landon,” he groans softly, and my heart pitter-patters in my chest.
“I’m mad at you,” I hiss and then swipe at my wet cheeks. “You’re keeping secrets.”
His hand falls on my side and I scoot away from him, despite my entire body revolting at the move.
“Tell me or sleep on the couch tonight.”
His hand falls from me and he runs a hand down his face.
“Shit, Landon, I…”
I peek up at him and he lets out a rattled breath.
“Do you mean it? I don’t want…. Don’t make me sleep somewhere else. Please.”
I try to stay mad, but those dark eyes just swell with sadness, and I swipe at my cheeks, feeling myself cave.
“Fine, I’ll make an exception, just this once, but you need to tell me, Finn. No more secrets.”
“I’ll tell you when you’ve had some time to recover. I just…I want you to focus on yourself.”
“I can’t focus on anything when this piece is missing. Something is missing and I can’t stand it!”
He sits down next to me and brushes his fingers across my cheek, his thumb tracing my bottom lip and my entire body lights up.
God, I know this touch.
Know it.
“Finn,” I breathe and he lets out a stuttered breath. “I feel like I need to kiss you.”
He exhales as his thumb pulls my bottom lip down slightly.
“Not until you’re better.”
