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“What are you doing?” he asks, his hand tightening around me.
“What do you mean?” I ask, wanting to sink into him, wanting to let him run his strong hands through my hair and press his soft lips to the skin of my neck.
“You haven’t said a word to me—”
“I’m giving you space,” I interrupt, and Finn’s head rears back.
“Why the fuck would I want space?” he asks, and I shrug, picking at my cuticle and trying to look nonchalant about it. When in reality my eyes sting and I feel like I swallowed a brick.
“So you can have fun during your winter break. Without worrying about me.”
His hand flexes, pulling me slightly closer to him.
“I’m having a fun winter breakwith you.”
“And Archer. Can’t forget about him.”
He rolls his eyes. “For fuck’s sake. Enough.”
I shrug and fiddle with the bottom of his shirt. “Look, all I’m saying is we can have other friends—”
“I don’t want—”
“And you can date whoever you want.”
“I’m not fucking dating him!” he shouts and gently shakes me. As if to knock some common sense into me. Well, too late, Finn. That train is long gone. It never even made it to the station. It’s not genetically possible for this family to have anything of the sort. It’s a family curse. I mean, this family has the worst luck. Take my leg for example. I mean, it can’t get any worse than that. And now, finally, when I’m starting to feel shit for Finn, he’s into someone else!
Gah! It’s just this never-ending cycle. One I can never escape.
“Why are you shaking me,” I snark, as Finn jostles me roughly.
Finn’s chest is heaving, his eyes shining and bright. “I want to rattle those fucking cobwebs loose in your motherfucking brain.”
I snort at the imagery. “Are you saying I’m dumb?”
“Sure feels like it right now,” he mutters and I shove at his chest.
“You’re so rude. Honestly, I don’t know why I keep you around.”
“Yeah, you do. You know why. So stop pushing me away. Don’t give me space. I don’t need it. I don’t want it.”
I stare at him, my eyes roving over his face, taking him in. God, he looks…tired. I don’t want to upset him any more than I already have. This can wait. I can wait.
“But I may need to,” I say softly, forcing my gaze away. “It’s self-preservation.”
Finn shakes his head, his hands falling away from me and he sighs, a long, weary exhale.
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s in that head of yours.”
“Can we do it later?” I ask. “We’re going to be late to the movies.”
“You’re not shoving this under the rug like you do everything else. Not with me.”
I gasp dramatically. “I wouldnever.”
A small snort escapes him and he reaches out for me, pulling me into his chest. And I lean into him. Just this once.
It hurts too much to be apart from him.
