Page 78 of Always Him

I’ll deal with the inevitable pain later. I just don’t know if I can handle it all right now.

* * *

Finn is in a mood. He huffed and puffed his way through the movie we saw at the theatre with Logan and Theo. Mainly because I didn’t hold his hand.

I think.

But he was texting Archer anyways. His fingers were busy. I didn’t want to bother him. And honestly, could either of them be any ruder? That light from Finn’s phone was like a beacon in the middle of the theater, lighting up the space around him like a spotlight.

Now we’re back at my parents’ house and Finn is glowering at me because I sat in my own chair around the firepit. Despite the warmth from the fire, my body is cold from being parted from him. I peek over and see his hands clenched on the chair’s arms and his jaw working back and forth.

I’ve never seen him so upset with me before. But now I’m feeling like I can’t back down. I need to try and make it through this night.

I need to see if I can be strong enough to keep away. Even if it’s just for a few more hours.

“Hey guys,” my dad says lumbering outside with a tub of ice cream in his hand and a handful of spoons. “Want some?”

I smile softly at my dad, trying to ignore the murderous stare coming from Finn across the patio.

“Um…”

“No. No more. We’re heading out,” Finn interjects, standing up abruptly.

My dad looks flummoxed but just nods as Finn moves toward the sliding glass door.

And when I don’t move fast enough, he turns his head and glowers at me.

“Get over here, Landon. Now.”

I gulp and push myself up, giving my dad a quick hug and following Finn out to the car. He’s quiet and cold and when he starts the car, I shiver slightly, my stomach rolling.

“Um…” I begin, when the silence between us becomes too oppressive. “Why are you so mad?”

His hand clasps the steering wheel so tightly I can see his knuckles turn white.

I swallow roughly, bobbing my head and whistling nervously. Jesus, Finn is really giving me the silent treatment.

I mean, it was just some itty-bitty space.

He turns on the blinker aggressively and veers onto the street leading to my apartment.

“Not going to talk? Just gonna keep it zipped…cool…cool,” I say, my voice coming out a little higher with each word.

He pulls into my parking spot, slams the car into park, and then pushes the door open.

I scramble after him, trying like hell to play it cool, but unable to really manage it. I’m just worried now. I didn’t realize that me trying to distance myself would make him so…angry.

I’m picking nervously at my poor cuticles when I finally make it to my apartment door, and Finn’s just standing there, his arms folded across his chest, his eyes boring into mine. Like some kind of unmovable statue.

I shift nervously, dropping my keys onto the ground. And when I move to pick them up, those big hands of his don’t go around my waist to steady me like they usually do.

Oh fuck.

I’ve really gone and done it now.

I manage to get the door open and hobble inside, my body shaking with nerves. I mean, Finn would never hurt me. Never. That’s not why I’m scared.

I’m scared I ruined it. Whatever this was between us. That it’s over before it started.

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