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“So now that your car is in the driveway overnight and everyone in the house is going to see it tomorrow, does this mean that you’re okay with telling people? I don’t mean driving through town and yelling through a bullhorn, but telling Mark and the kids, and Sadie and my friends?”
Honor gripped the edge of the counter and took a breath before she met my eyes.
“Yes, you can tell people.”
“You sure?” I asked. Her white-knuckle grip on my counter was at odds with her words.
Honor stood up and came over to me, cupping my face in both her hands.
“Yes, you can tell people,” she said, kissing my lips. “You’re going to have to be patient with me. I’m still undoing years of bullshit.”
“It’s okay,” I said, pulling her into a hug, running my hands up and down her back. This woman needed more orgasms, more hugs, and more reassurance in her life. And fun. And brownies.
Definitely less chicken decor.
Honor melted into my hug, sighing softly as I held her.
“You’re a really good hugger.”
“I’m really good at a lot of things,” I said, and she laughed.
The teakettle went off and I had to go deal with it. Honor chose a tea that helped with sleep and I did the same.
“It’s nice here,” Honor said.
“Well yeah, there’s no chickens. And you don’t have your sister sleeping in the living room.”
She cringed as she added some honey to her tea.
“I’m not insulting your house,” I said hurriedly. “Just maybe that Lark could get a job or something to help you out with the bills and then you might be able to rent somewhere with two bedrooms.”
Honor looked down into her cup. “I didn’t want her life to be like mine. I wanted something better for her.”
I understood where she was coming from. Did I ever.
“She’s an adult, though, Honor. She’s not a child that you need to protect from the world. You can help her with school, sure, but taking that all on yourself while you’re trying to deal with your own shit is going to run you into the ground.” Something would have to give.
Honor sighed. “I know you’re right, but it pisses me off. Why can’t I do it all? Why can’t I just win the lottery or something and pay for Lark’s college?”
“Does Lark even want to be in college?” From the way she’d talked today, I didn’t really get the vibe that she did. That she might have been doing it out of obligation to Honor, which was not a good reason to get into thousands of dollars of debt.
Honor blinked at me. “I guess I never really asked.”
“Hold on,” I said, putting my hand up. “You didn’t ask her if she wanted to go to college?”
“I always told her that I’d pay for it. And that she was going. And I know she used to want to, because she knew it would make our mother angry. She also used to threaten to be a teenage mother, but I guess she didn’t follow through on that one.”
The timer went off on the oven and I went to check the brownies with a toothpick before deciding they were done and pulling them out to cool on a rack.
“I’m not saying that the only reason she’s in college is because she wants to make you happy, but I really think you should talk to her about it,” I said.
Honor set her tea down and gave me a smile. “You’re just fucking up absolutely everything, aren’t you? Just blowing up my life like a hurricane.”
“I’m sorry?” I said, even though I wasn’t.
Honor grabbed my chin and pulled me toward her for a kiss.
“Don’t be.”
