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“I thought love would be terrible,” I said. “But it’s actually good.”
Lark stared down at me. “Why did you think love was going to be terrible?”
“Because it ruins so many people, I don’t know. It was something I didn’t think I needed. I was fine on my own. I was fine doing my life without it. Then I met you and now I can’t think of doing life without you by my side, and it’s not just because of the sex, even though that’s incredible. I like making dinner with you and sitting on the couch and making burrito jokes and everything. I loved taking care of you when you were sick and drunk. I love having the most random conversations about absolutely nothing with you. Everything with you is better, Lark.”
There were tears in her eyes again, but I hoped they were happy tears this time.
“For someone who didn’t want to fall in love, you’re awfully good at romantic speeches,” she said, sniffing. I offered her my sleeve to wipe her nose. I could have gotten her a tissue, but I didn’t want her to move. She needed to stay right where she was.
“That was my first one. I’m glad to know you liked it. I didn’t write a script or anything,” I said. “Watching all those movies and reading all those romance books must have paid off.” I ran my hands up and down her back, gradually sneaking them under her shirt so I could feel her skin.
“My romantic burrito,” she said, laughing a little and kissing my forehead.
“Your romantic burrito,” I said.
“Mmmm mmm mmmmmmm,” she said as she kissed me again.
* * *
Turnedout that declarations of love could lead to absolutely mind-blowing sex. I might have considered making one sooner if I’d known that part. Maybe.
During a break, Lark and I lay together and she asked me about some of my past partners. I was surprised she wanted to know, but she said she was curious.
“I mean, none of that matters because now I have you. I’m a one-woman woman now. You can watch me delete all my apps,” I said. Honestly, doing that would be kind of a relief. No more wondering if I was going to end up with someone who was compatible, or if I would have to send a 911 message to Joy so she could call me with an “emergency” to give me a reason to leave.
“Who was your first?” I asked her. We’d spent a lot of time talking about me and I realized I’d never really asked her about her past relationships.
Lark dived under the blankets, pulling them up over her head.
“Lark?” I asked, pulling them down, fighting with her grip. “What is it? Did you have sex with someone embarrassing? Come on, you can tell me. I won’t judge.”
There was no way she had had more shameful sex than I had.
Lark’s face finally popped back out from under the blanket.
“Who was it?” I asked. “Is it someone I know?”
She nodded.
“Oh my god, who?”
Lark took a breath. “You.”
“Me?” I said. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“You were my first,” she said. “I’d never had sex with anyone else before you.”
I stared at her in shock. “So that night at the bar?”
“Yup,” she said.
“That was your first time with a partner?” I asked.
She nodded, her face red.
“Holy shit, this is blowing my mind,” I said. “You’ve only been with me?”
“Only you,” she said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. At first I didn’t want to, and then I figured we’d been together so many times that it didn’t matter anymore. Are you upset?”
