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Lark and Iengaged in some slow morning sex before making breakfast together and eating it in bed.
“Are we dating now?” I asked, sliding the last bite of fried potatoes over to her. This relationship had really changed me already. I didn’t normally share food with many people.
“Yes? I think that’s the general idea,” Lark said.
“I don’t know, I’ve never done this part before. I’m new,” I said.
Lark snorted. “It’s so weird that you’re so experienced with sex, but not dating. For most people it’s the reverse.”
“Well, I’m unique,” I said, tossing my hair.
“That’s why I like you,” she said, setting the tray aside.
I turned on my side so I could stare at her. “I thought youlovedme.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I love you, but I like you too. They don’t always go together.”
“I guess that’s true. Well, I like you and I love you. So there.”
Lark pulled the covers over our heads, her eyes sparkling in the dark.
“Did you ever read books under the covers with a light so your mom didn’t know you were staying up late?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “Even though she probably wouldn’t have done anything or punished me. It was more fun to be sneaky about it.”
“My mother definitely would have been pissed. She didn’t want me reading so much,” Lark said.
“I know I’ve said this before, but I really don’t like your mother. At all.”
“That’s fine, I don’t like her either.”
I told Lark more about what it had been like with my mom, how she did her best, and I would step up and handle what I could.
“You’re like Honor that way. She was more of a parent to me in the sense that she taught me how to ride a bike and pick out my clothes and make breakfast and that kind of thing. She wasn’t even that much older herself, but Honor has always been mature since day one.”
It was impossible for me to picture Honor as a child. I’d love to see some pictures to prove that it had even happened.
“Do you, um, do you think about kids?” Lark asked, picking at something on her sheets.
“You mean having kids?” I asked.
She nodded. “I know everything is so new with us, but I think we should talk about the important stuff and not put it off.”
“Shit, Lark. That’s a lot to think about. I’m just getting used to the idea of a committed relationship. Can I have some time to think about it?” I asked. The air under the blanket was starting to get a little too warm.
“Yeah, definitely,” she said. “Sorry. We don’t have to talk about it right now. Let’s go back to talking about books.”
She did change the subject back to books, but now that she’d planted the idea of kids in my brain, I couldn’t stop turning it over.
One thing I knew without a doubt: my future included Lark. I’d never fantasized about marriage or babies or any of that because it had always seemed like something for someone else. But marriage with Lark? Seeing her in a white dress and sliding a ring on her finger didn’t seem so bad. And then I imagined what she’d look like pregnant, her belly round. A sweet little baby with blonde hair and blue eyes. I’d take care of her when her ankles were swollen. When the baby was born, I’d be on bottle duty at night so she could sleep.
All of those things suddenly didn’t seem so scary or strange.
“What are you thinking about?” Lark asked when I’d been silent for a little while.
“Our future,” I said. “Whenever my friends would talk about futures, mine always seemed so blurry. And then I met you and things got a whole lot clearer. I don’t know, I guess I can just see a lot of different possibilities now.”
