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I wasn’t leaving anyone behind. My dad had been clear on where he stood. I wasn’t welcome unless I worked for him. Fuck that.
Sophie said she didn’t want to marry me or plan a life with me. Hadn’t she?
But today, she’d said thatshe couldn’t leavewithme. I racked my brain trying to remember if she’d said it back then and I missed it. Had I been so upset about my dad’s ultimatum that I’d missed her saying something so vital?
I ran all the way home. Not a jog or a cool-down like usual, but a full-on sprint. The streets were starting to fill with people walking their dogs, but I didn’t wave or pause to chat like I usually would.
I needed a minute to myself to process this sudden revision of history. By the time I got home, I was dripping with sweat. I filled a glass of water and took it out back so I could ease through some stretches.
I’d pay for my impromptu sprint tomorrow. Sore muscles would be a good reminder of our conversation.
Stretching my hamstrings, I surmised she’d never told me she couldn’t leave. Her dad would have been okay. He wouldn’t have held her back. Ellie was only two years younger than her—older than Sophie had been when her mother died—and she was responsible. She could have stepped up.
When Sophie said she didn’t want me, I shut down. Everything became painfully clear that day—no one wanted me, not my parents, and certainly not Sophie. My dad had essentially been telling me that since I was born, so it wasn’t a surprise my girlfriend felt the same.
Had I been so preoccupied, so overwhelmed by the ultimatum and my decision, that I hadn’t taken the time to understand what Sophie was saying?
The slider opened, and Kendall came out with a steaming mug.
Did it even matter what happened back then? I had Kendall now. She was all I needed. I shouldn’t be going back in history to figure it out. I should move forward.
“Are you drinking coffee now?” I stretched my other leg, leaning over my knee to feel the burn.
She rested the mug on a side table, sat on the couch, and curled her legs underneath her. “It’s for you.”
We’d come so far since we first moved here. She’d gone from petulant to accommodating. “Thank you.”
“Where do you run in the morning?” Kendall asked, and I wondered if she knew my secret.
“I take the trails around town and then finish on Main Street.”
“Hmmm.”
“Why are you up so early?” I stood to stretch my arms over my head, tilting to the left and right. It felt good to get the kinks out.
Her forehead wrinkled. “I couldn’t sleep.”
I was instantly alert. Concern for her replaced the remnants of regret for the way things ended with Sophie. “Why not?”
“Worried about school, I guess.” She couldn’t quite meet my eyes.
“Is that it?” I asked as I sat next to her. She rarely talked to me. I figured she’d had that kind of relationship with Melanie, but it would take time for her to trust me.
“Is Mom coming back?”
I dreaded this question because I didn’t have an answer for her. “Of course, she will.”
Was it okay to lie to your kids when you didn’t know for sure?
“Why did we move away then?” Kendall’s gaze rested on mine.
I shifted, resting my elbows on my knees as I sorted through my thoughts, sifting through what was appropriate to share with a nine-year-old. “I talked it over with Mom. She agreed it would be the best for us.”
“What happens when she comes back?” Kendall’s voice wavered.
“We’ll figure it out together.” The thing was, I liked being home. Annapolis felt like a trap when I lived with my parents under my dad’s rules and expectations. But now that I was an adult and supporting myself, his attempts to express his opinion and exert his control fell flat.
I didn’t feel pressured to work in the family business. My future was wide open. The only problem was figuring out what I wanted to do.
