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‘What you should do is let me know next time when you’re coming. My schedule is over the top these days with organizing the elections.’
‘How’s that going?’ Truth was, I hadn’t seen Brax in a while. I ran into him a few weeks ago when he was leaving Ferris’s mansion but didn’t get the chance to talk to him since he had his phone glued to his ear.
Cole kept me informed about what was going on with the elections and everything else, but I needed to also hear Brax’s version, especially since I felt that he was avoiding me.
‘Everything is under control. At least at my end.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I felt the emphasis in his voice.
‘My man is ready to step in and do exactly what we order. It’s not him that I’m worried about.’Worrywas a strong word coming from Brax. Something was wrong, and for some reason, Cole kept that part away from me.
‘Who are you worried about then? Cole’s father?’ I seemed to have spoken the magic words since Brax’s forehead instantly formed a frown.
‘It’s only a matter of time before he goes back to his old ways. He’s just going to be doing it elsewhere. Maybe even another city. But that won’t mean he won’t jeopardize our plan.’ Brax seemed pretty involved inour plan, and I was beginning to believe it was much more strongly related to his thirst for power rather than to our deal.
‘With what money? Does he have access to funds?’ I asked.
‘Nothing that I don’t keep track of. But since I transferred all he lost at my locations into Cole’s account, he’s been asking him for money.’ Brax seemed to be fed up with Cole’s father, and why wouldn’t he? Being generous was such a great sacrifice for a man like him, especially since Cole’s dad was making his gesture seem to be in vain.
‘What did Cole say?’ I was pretty surprised Cole didn’t mention it before, but I figured he didn’t want to add to my worry list. He should have done it, though. I keep adding to his worry list every day.
Brax’s nostrils flared before he could give me a response. ‘He didn’t give his dad a cent. Cold knew what the money was for, and he’s not helping him get on that road again.’
‘Cole didn’t talk about it with me.’ For some reason, I let Brax take a sneak peek into my thoughts. I was disappointed that Cole had shut me out of this one.
‘His dad is a sensitive subject. He was his hero while growing up. It’s pretty hard for him to see all his beliefs being demolished that way. I guess I was lucky. I knew exactly who my father was the moment I first opened my eyes.’
‘Lucky?’ Living life by the gun didn’t seem so lucky in my book.
‘I was being ironic. I didn’t choose this life. This life chose me, and that brings things to a whole different connection.’ At least Brax felt a connection with something on this planet, even if that something was the handle of his gun.
‘Then I’m certainly lucky for the life I have now. Oh, wait. Maybe it isn’t luck since I paid for every drop of happiness my family could get.’ I was the ironic one this time.
‘Don’t sell me that bullshit. We always have a choice. You just choose to change your life. Shit happens every day in the street. People are living in misery, starving, dying. You just choose to do whatever it takes not to let yourself or your family go down that road. Would it feel better if you had a weapon in your hands and go rob a bank?’ He paused to let his questions sink into my mind. ‘Just don’t blame any of us for your choices. We only offered the alternatives. It was your mind that accepted them.’
What hurt me most was that he was right. Maybe they did hold the blame for their proposals, but I bore the fault for their acceptance.
‘What are you doing here anyway, Bea?’ The question would be asked at some point. I was surprised we managed to go so far into the convo before he asked me about the true purpose of my visit.
‘I haven’t seen you around lately.’ I tried going around the subject.
‘I’ve met with Ferris several times during these weeks. I just didn’t consider I should look you up. Especially since you specifically asked me to leave you alone.’
‘Yeah, about that... I was still in shock.’ I had to diminish the impact of his actions so I could get him to buy into my story.
‘I already figured that part out. So what, now you’ve recovered?’ He lit himself a cigarette, skeptical about giving me the benefit of the doubt.
‘You could say that... I’m just accepting what you have done for me... after what you did to me.’ Shit, my mouth was getting the best of me again. I just couldn’t let that part out.
I immediately wished he didn’t hear it. But he heard it all right. ‘Here we go again. What exactly have I done to you that wasn’t a part of our deal?’
I was a part of the deal for him, and the thought was making me throw up. I didn’t even know if it was in disgust or in pain. Willingly or unwillingly, I’d grown attached to him, and being seen as a disposable asset by the man I cared for was a sharp sting in my heart.
I was no fool. I had no illusion that things could be different. It was just every time I heard him say it, I felt like it was wrecking my soul.
‘I didn’t come here to fight with you. I came here to thank you. I know you risked your life by breaking into the governor’s house.’ I made an attempt at mending things a little.
Though Brax was the same old Brax I have already gotten accustomed to, maybe even colder than before. ‘I didn’t do it for you. Having you killed, or worse, having the governor on to what we were doing without me taking any measures of precaution would have only interfered with the plan.’
