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‘You did that to me too,’ my voice cut through his sentence as the memories of that time were testing my limits.
‘Yes.’ He didn’t even try to deny the truth. There was no point in doing it. ‘I did it to every woman I met.’
‘So, what was the limit? I mean before me?’ I wanted to know how far he would go to satisfy the monsters that ruled him.
‘I didn’t have any limits. And what scared me most was that I didn’t even care what would happen to them.’
‘Someone from The Pleasure Room told me some of them used to be in love with you.’ I needed to test that field too. Maybe I was crazy, but I was beginning to think I was also desperate.
‘They all saw the fucking prince living in the luxurious castle. I gave them the life they dreamed of, and they gave me themselves. They were in love with what this life meant. That’s until I let them take a sneak peek into the dark corners of my mind.’
‘Did they leave you when they got there?’
‘Leave me? Interesting point of view. They broke the deals. I don’t see it like any of them leaving me. They were never relationships. They were trades.’
‘As with me...’ I murmured, knowing that I fitted well into that pattern.
‘Not exactly. With you, I felt fear. And I hated that but couldn’t control it.
‘I was afraid I was never going to see you again, and still, I showed you my monsters from the first second. I wanted you to run because I felt you were so different from any of the previous women, although, despite that, I wasn’t able to let you go.
‘With you, I don’t want to go back to my old ways. I want you to help me find new ones.’
The probability of him being right was puzzling my mind. He warned me to leave from the start. I just wasn’t willing to listen.
I always had a feeling that he managed to get me wrapped up around his fingers, although I was starting to conclude thatIwas the one who got herself wrapped up.
The truth was more painful to handle than I initially anticipated, but I already had an idea of what he could say. I had come prepared, yet nothing could prepare me for the raw emotion that was dripping from this outcome.
Acceptance.
He was finally accepting his past along with the mistakes that ruled his life.
A monster.
A deceiver.
Even a killer.
But in the end, a man willing to change.
I might have been crazy for believing in him once again.
Yes, he hurt me, and yes, he tried to completely break me. Still, he killed for me. He risked his life for me. And if those actions weren’t enough to convince me we deserve to give ourselves another try, the words slowly dripping from his lips did: ‘They weren’t like you. None of the women could ever come close to what you represent. They were just tools that I was using, uselessly trying to fix myself.
‘With you, it’s all so different.
‘With you, I’m in love.’
Chapter 10
Ferris didn’t set me free. I don’t think he had it in him to do it. Maybe he was still afraid that I could also leave him, when in fact, I couldn’t even think of the day I ever would.
Whether it be as lovers, friends, or just broken souls, I will always be by his side.
I couldn’t respond to his confession.
It was because saying it back would make it shockingly real for me, and I still didn’t know how to manage him and Cole. I had feelings for both, and if the ones for Cole were blooming with mesmerizing intensity, the ones for Ferris were already deeply enrooted into my soul.
