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‘Are you asking me to stay?’ I questioned, knowing that the chances of a real answer were slim.
And I was right. ‘I’m asking you to do whatever you want.’
‘I need to know whatyouwant.’ I needed to hear him say something more than blurred confessions.
‘I came into the room, didn’t I?’ He was still annoyed that his feelings had been exposed, or maybe he was annoyed that he had any kind of feelings at all. But we both knew it was too late for him to take any step back.
The cards were facing up on the table. Brax probably realized that I had just served him a lesson, but one that he had nonetheless deserved.
‘So what now?’ I tried to appear much less affected than I really was, although I was guessing it didn’t have much point hiding it.
‘Now...’ He ghosted a breath, sneaking in a hand over my ear to join his lips on mine.
He was about to kiss me. The way all happy endings work. The way they show in all the best movies.
Except, this was real life. And a kiss now didn’t secure me with a happy ending.
It would take much more than just a simple kiss, and denying him of this one was exactly the first brick into building something together.
My lips were numb, not answering his calling. The same way they were the last time we were together in the room with the glass wall. He hopelessly moved against them, in futile attempts to bring them back to life, harder and more eager until his rhythm slowed down, admitting defeat.
‘What’s wrong?’ His words didn’t come out menacingly; on the contrary, they were hindering silent insecurity.
‘I don’t want this, Brax.’ And the truth was, I didn’t. There was no result coming out of this kiss besides the one I already knew.
I needed more than his jealousy.
I needed his passion.
‘What do you want then?’ He set a small distance, searching my eyes for the answers he already knew.
‘Something real.’ I let the burden off my chest. ‘Something more than sex.’
His eyes flashed with the ultimatum I was giving him. It was either the beginning or the end. The choice belonged to him and him alone.
I wished so badly that he would say we’ll give it a try. That he would promise me tomorrow and the day after that, and infinitely more.
But that’s not who Brax was, and I was well aware of that.
He was as strong and as feared as it got.
Still, my request was much more than he had bargained for. ‘I need two days.’ He broke the silence, prolonging my misery, then sneaked his hand back through the curtain of my hair.
His lips didn’t reach for my own this time but for the soft skin of my cheek. ‘Let’s get you dressed. I’ll take you home.’
It was as if he was fighting saying goodbye. I felt it in his shaking voice. This wasn’t a step towards a happy ending. This was a step towardsthe end.
Picking my dress from the floor, he helped me off the table, and then to put the emerald gown on. No more words wasted, except, ‘I’ll drive you home.’
An unusual offer coming from him, much more similar to anI’m sorrythan tolet’s start over.
I gazed at him all the way back to Ferris’s mansion in hopes I would find a glimmer of emotions. Anything that could give me hope. But he looked more likely to have seen a ghost than to have any kind of revelation.
He was returning to hide behind his mask, and there was nothing I could do about it. Brax was a man of few words and even fewer feelings. No matter what speech I could give him, or what other plan I would come up with, I realized it wouldn’t change the outcome.
This was something he needed to settle with himself, to defeat his own demons.
Two days to change the mentality of a lifetime, and the odds werenotrunning in my favor.
