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‘The fuck if I want a single living person to know I’ve cuddled.’ He let out a charming chuckle, getting his lips to melt on the top of my head until my eyes closed.
I still felt tired from the fight of staying alive, so falling asleep again was just a normal healing reaction. But this time, I managed to stay somewhere between reality and dreams. Maybe it was just fate, letting me hear his words. ‘You know, Mouse. You fucked me up really good. Not going to willingly admit it to your face, though.’ Cole let out a secret confession that I don’t think I was really supposed to hear. Or perhaps, unconsciously, he wanted me to know the struggle that was tormenting his soul.
Knowing my kings, it could very well be a trap.
Only time would tell.
His words seemed to have brought me an unexpected peace, helping me find my sleep, knowing that one way or another, things had changed. And most importantly, I had changed.
I wish I could say I’d slept like a baby, but my dreams carried me to a dark place. A place where hope was gone, and all I could ever feel was excruciating pain, expanding to every cell in my body. A fist kept coming to my face, sending me to the ground, followed by so many kicks to my stomach that I’d just lost count. And that voice. That anger-filled voice echoed like someone had implanted a loudspeaker in my head.Who do you work for?The question repeated itself between all the blows to my face, along with the rest of my body.
I was ice cold. Like a corpse cold, feeling the life draining out of me. But my will was still there, fighting with all of my powers to get away. I was screaming and kicking back through the darkness in faded attempts to protect myself. That’s until vicious arms grabbed me, holding me so still that I could barely breathe.
‘Shush... It’s okay… It’s okay.’
I recognized the voice calling me back to reality, chasing away my monsters. It belonged to a man that fought monsters of his own. A man I didn’t want next to me anymore.
‘Ferris?’ I stuttered, seeing the fawn strands falling over his sculpted face and perfectly framing his dark night eyes.
I was still trembling, but the image of him standing right next to me managed to make my heart stop for an instant. I couldn’t allow myself to have any reaction, yet my body seemed to be ignoring my conscience, letting the effect he had over me visibly shake me.
Except, this time, I wasn’t going to let him win. I wasn’t going to rest in the arms that were trying to bring me brief comfort. I knew damn well where that comfort would lead to. So instead of responding to his embrace, I peeled myself away from it, so I could get a safe distance.
He instantly noticed. Ferris was no fool and recognized my gesture for exactly what it was. I wasn’t only detaching from his embrace. I was detaching myself from him, from everything that he meant.
‘I’m fine,’ I muttered, trying to rearrange myself on the bed.
He was lost for words, and I knew it the second those cold eyes peered straight at me.
‘I heard you screaming. You had a nightmare.” I picked up the worried tone of his voice. He knew what nightmares mean all too well.
‘It’s pretty difficult not to, after what happened.’ I could only remember bits and pieces of the events, but I was sure that the memory was better coming in flashes than all together. I didn’t think I could handle everything at once.
‘I know the feeling.’ He let out a deep sigh, reminding me of his bad dreams. ‘Do you feel better now? Do you want me to stay here with you?’
I thought I already had a guardian. ‘What happened to Cole?’
‘He had to go by the Academy. He’ll be back pretty soon.’
My head fell back to the pillow. I didn’t want Ferris here, and he knew that. But we still had a deal, and there was nothing I could do about it— yet!
‘Do you want to be alone?’ He sensed me being miles away from the girl he used to know.
‘Yes,’ I said without raising my eyes to look at him.
I couldn’t have him there, waiting for me to get well just so he could break me once again. That time would come. I was sure of that until the moment when there would be nothing stopping him from fully destroying me.
Like a shadow, he followed my request, disappearing out of the room before I could even raise my eyes and look at him. I may have hurt him, but he also hurt me.
I tried staying in bed after Ferris left. I really did, but my feet were itching to get out and stand for even just a second.
With snakelike steps, I made my way back to the mirror.
I was a trainwreck.
A few cuts were starting to heal, and the swollen eyes seemed to be backing out a bit, but the pain was still there, as vivid as in the moment of the initial blows.
I was going back to my bed when I heard the door open again. Initially, I thought that it was Ferris or that Cole had returned, though there was a whole different person entering my new room. ‘Why are you here, Brax?’ My tone was crisper than ever before, and even if I’d wanted to mask it somehow, I couldn’t have succeeded. The bitterness he left after our last private encounter was still too fresh in my mind.
