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Her feelings for me were still there, I could tell. But she didn’t trust me. Trust needed time and actions to be earned. And I was unworthy of that. Yet, it didn’t mean I wouldn’t spend every single hour of every day trying to prove that I deserve her.
Tossing the blanket over the frosted tiles, I slowly arranged her over the warm material then brought my own body heat to protect her... Okay, maybe it wasn’t only about protection. It was about an undeniable longing that was gradually beginning to seize control of all of my thoughts.
It wasn’t about me needing her. It was about reassuring myself that she was still mine.
Tensed to my max, yet at the same timerelaxed like never before, I hadeverythingandnothingunder control. And it felt so fucking amazing! It was like I couldn’t find my way back to her fast enough, crashing my mouth on hers to fully expose the ardor with which I craved to make her mine.
With one hand, I was disposing of my pants while with the other, I jerked her nighty over her hips to find myself entering her.
I wasn’t being gentle, far from it. I was just showing her exactly the intensity of my euphoria. She didn’t need to be romanced back to me with a lie. She needed the truth. The raw sensation that bodies produce when united. The purest emotion born out of whatever feelings were gluing us together. And those feelings came like the fiercest storm.
An avalanche of emotions made me momentarily abandon her lips to bite on the perkiness of her rosy nipples as I was moving deep inside of her. It was like I couldn’t get enough, no matter how many times I would plunge myself within her. No matter how many kisses would spark between us. And no matter how many seconds our destinies would allow us to share.
We were both so perfectly broken together that the thought of us being separated for a moment longer was bringing me pain. Because from there on, I knew there was no going back to my old life. I was creating a new road alongside her.
It was still freezing outside. I could tell from the frost melting on my skin, but I couldn’t really feel it. Our bodies were moving as one, like we were never apart from one another. All the evidence around me was leading me to one single result — she was the puzzle piece I needed to feel complete.
I was bathing in rivers of such a complex pleasure. She was satisfying not only my flesh but also my soul as tormenting vibes were making me lose my breath in front of her. And from the vice that was squeezing me tightly as her inner walls were moving with frenetic spasms, she was partaking in the same kind of complete surrender.
My name became a record on repeat playing on her lips as my hips kept on moving, eager to hear it murmured in my ears for as long as I could.
Despite her pleas, I didn’t give her any break, continuing my divine assault until I felt her hands clutching so tightly around my neck that she was about to break it. In reality, it was she who was breaking down in front of me in the most sublime manner possible.
The hint of pain from her hands being clenched around my neck,together with the force of her tightening walls around me, made my own satisfaction come with shattering intensity. I let a final groan tremble on her lips as I was seconds away from caving in on top of her.
My mind was still trying to put two and two together. I knew this didn’t mean we were good. But it did mean we were heading on the right track. And the keyword wastogether.
‘This time, wearegoing inside. I’m not taking no for an answer.’ I took her in my arms and carried her back inside.
She was shivering by the time I placed her in between my sheets, getting in beside her, and collecting so many quilts to cover us that anyone would have thought we were at the North Pole.
There was just one last thing I needed to do. ‘Let me help you take off your nightie.’
‘I thought you were supposed to be doing this before, not after,’ she chuckled, helping me remove the cloth.
I had serious reasons to get rid of the material. ‘It’s wet.’ I tossed it on the floor while I caught her in my arms to warm her up.
‘Are you trying to seduce me again?’ she asked, without realizing that she was the one seducing me, murmuring the words straight on that erogenous zone between my ear and my neck.
‘Try!... No. I’ll go straight in for the kill.’ I was caressing the fine skin of her cheek when a wandering tear caught my attention. ‘What’s this?’...And why was she crying?
Did I fucking do or say something wrong again?
‘Nothing,’ she barely breathed. But I knew she was lying.
‘Crying isn’tnothing. Did I do something?’ I couldn’t really understand what I did wrong when everything seemed so right in those seconds.
Instead of giving me an answer, she buried her face against the pillow, refusing to talk to me.
‘Bea.’ I tried whirling her around to face me, but every single one of my moves only made her cocoon herself further against the pillows. Something was wrong and I had no idea what. But things couldn’t stay that way. ‘Would you speak to me?’
I was turning the page into a new nightmare. My questions were only deepening her tears when a cold chill ran down my spine. I had an idea what it was about. We were heading into a new chapter so it was only fair to have the old ghosts out in the open. That was my best shot at deciphering her misery and the question that followed revealed my thoughts. ‘Does this have to do with Vanya? Did she say something to you?’
‘Did she havesomethingto say to me?’ she immediately responded, confirming that I was on the right track. A very... very difficult road I may say.
‘Nothing that would make any difference to what we have.’ I didn’t care about my past. I only cared about the future. And a future could only be built on trust, and I needed her to trust me.
‘What we have,’ she repeated my words with a certain insecurity. I guessed she felt the same way I did, asking herselfwhat do we really have?
