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‘Look at me,’ I murmured, even if I was the one who really needed to look at her.
Ineededto make sure she was to remain there with me, no matter what.
Ineededto know that I own her at a level so deep that I would be an integrated part of her life.
But most of all, Ineededto know that she had more than just physical attraction.
Ineededto know that she loved me.
And I felt it in each following action, from the way she was holding on to me, looking so deeply into my eyes that one may think it was the last time she would see me.
With stumbled moans, I felt her wrapping around me. She was quivering beneath me, purring her release against my lips so intensely that I decided to allow her a moment of rest.
But only a moment until I regained my own powers and began pushing myself inside her making certain I was grinding against that spot that made the pleasure return in consuming waves.
I felt the bed was about to break under the weight of my thrusts. I was exploring the contained limits of ecstasy as my hand clenched in her hair, letting the animalistic side of me surface as I was near to getting my release.
Still, I wanted to wait for her next wave of rapture before I would allow myself to cum. But the effects I had on her were much stronger than I imagined and before I needed to slow down, I felt her clasping around me, seeking refuge from the spasming sensations against my chest.
I let out a loud groan as I was finding my high inside of her, knowing that the sensation was as addictive as the most dangerous drug.
I wasn’t ready to let her go, so my arms didn’t open to make room for her to wander too far on the bed. Maybe it was a side-effect caused by denying myself of her presence for so long, but I couldn’t imagine her resting anywhere else except in my arms.
‘Are you sleeping here with me?’ she asked a question that indirectly hurt.
Fuck, how bad had my behavior marked her?
Funny how I thought my glacier-cold gestures wouldn’t matter to me, and now they were all coming back to haunt me.
‘Why would I not?’ I asked, just so that I didn’t have to admit how much of a jerk I really had been.
Although Bea was assuring herself that I felt as guilty as my actions had been, ‘I don’t want this to be like in the pool.’
I fucked-up big.
And it was about time to unfuck it. ‘It won’t. You have my word. I won’t let you go.’
It wasn’t an outburst of suppressed feelings like it was on that night at the pool. This was a change that I had accepted in my life. I had accepted Bea as a part of my life!
I could have so easily spent next day in bed. I was beginning to think I could have spent an entire month in bed, but with my schedule it felt impossible taking the whole day off at such short notice.
At this point, if I wanted a vacation, I would have to schedule it two years in advance.
By noon my phone had more missed calls than it could even register, and no matter how badly I wanted to spend the rest of my day with Bea, at that point it was unachievable.
She understood that this time I needed to abandon her against my will. That was a first in our case, but it was the beginning of something new.
Despite my offer to remain in my bed, Bea needed to check on Cole. He hadn’t been too well lately due to his father, and that was another problem that I would need to solve at some point.
Leaving her was hell, and she made sure I was to suffer through every single second of my departure by tempting me with her alluring shapes back to my bed. Trapped between heaven and hell, I had to return to my daily routine, though not before I made a promise that I was bound to keep.
‘There will be many oflast eveningand many more oflast nights.You have my word.’
But if I had any idea of how long it would be until I would get to keep my word, I would have definitely stayed in bed.
Chapter 40
The rest of the day was a storm of phone calls and delayed meetings. Normality to me. But I urged to get back to my new normality, though I was beginning to think I should have shared my plans with Bea earlier.
