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In any case, it managed to alter my unstable condition even more.
‘I thought it was the polite thing to do,’ she spoke, almost as if she was ashamed that she didn’t know what to do.
She should have felt what to do!
‘Yeah... polite...’ Wasn’t it weird that we need to be polite with one another? Maybe seductive, maybe charming but not polite. ‘Don’t just stand there. Come in. It would beimpoliteof me to keep you waiting in the doorway would it not?’ I couldn’t help myself but pick up on her poor choice of words.
‘Ferris, are you okay!?’
‘Yes, why? Don’t I seem okay to you?’ My question was rhetorical since I knew I wasn’t okay. How could I be?
‘You seem tense.’
‘It’s probably because of what you told me today. It got me thinking.’
‘About?’
About Brax fucking you.Though I couldn’t say that out loud. Not yet anyway.
‘Mmm.’ I wasn’t sure what to say. I just left the opposite corner of the room. ‘Let’s have something to drink first.’ I opened an old bottle of red wine. After all, we had something to celebrate. ‘Special selection.’ I handed her the glass, implying that it wasn’t an ordinary evening.
‘Just one glass. You know what happened last time.’ She was under the impression that she was giving me a warning about offering her an extra drink when in reality, I knewexactlywhat happened on the last occasion.
Turned out, I was making her feel uncomfortable, and her failed skills of conversation were proving just that. ‘So, what are we drinking to?’
‘I don’t know yet,’ And the truth was I didn’t. Were we toasting for a new beginning or anend? ‘You said something today that made me realize I’m involved in all of this much more than I ever planned to be.’ I distinctly recalled her saying that if I wasn’t going to help her plan for the sake of the city, then I should do it for her.
But the question remained, was she worth it? Did we share something?
‘Does that mean you’ll help us?’ Her question came like a lightning bolt.
‘Us!? Did you receive any other answer?’ I wasn’t sure if Brax or Cole beat me to it. But I was sure they were both going to pump up their agreements.
‘No.’
‘So, for now, it’s just you.Youneed me.’ I wanted to hear her say it. Maybe that would fix something between us. Though I couldn’t know for sure. That wasn’t the way my brain functioned. I was unpredictable even when it came to myself.
‘Yes...Ineed you.’ It was like a bond — much stronger than any other type of deal. She was tied to me in an addictive way, so deeply that she couldn’t say no to any fantasy my mind might have been able to nurture.
‘What you’re asking of me... it’s a lot. Getting involved in this means risking much more than some millions, billions, whatever. I’m risking everything. My whole fortune, my companies, my social position. You’re askingeverythingof me.’ So, I found it only fair to ask for the same in return —everything.
‘I’m sorry, Ferris, I didn’t realize-’
‘I haven’t finished yet.’ I had to stop her from speaking so I could finish my confession, ‘You said that you thought you should be enough for me to make up my mind. And you’re right.Youare more than enough, Bea. You fascinate me!’
I took a step backward so her presence wouldn’t influence what I was about to say next. ‘I believe that inadvertently you let a truth out. Maybe it was a momentary truth, or maybe you felt that way for a while now, but I glimpsed the sadness in your eyes as you were hoping that you were close enough for me to get me to do this… to get me to be a part of your plan.’ I took a short pause so I could take in the turmoil brewing in those emerald eyes. ‘It’s ok, you don’t need to answer. Because, as I said before, you are enough of a reason for me to do this. But what I need you to understand is that by doing this, I risk the impossible for you, therefore I think it’s only fair that I will get to own down to the very last piece of you.’
‘Ferris, you know about-’
‘The other deals. I know.’ And I could imagine every detail of them without her having to say a word. ‘I’m not talking about you beingonlymine, but I am talking about you being mine... Complete control of you.’
My cards were all facing up on the table. It was up to her if she was going to take it or leave it — although I had a feeling that she was going to accept my offer.
‘I don’t understand...’
‘Hmm, you’re confused.’ A smile raised at the corners of my lips as I headed towards her. She needed clearance and I was happy to properly explain myself.
With one small gesture, I caught her in my arms, melting my lips with hers. ‘Like this.’ I was giving her the first lesson in what controlling her meant.
