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I was kissing her with desire, but also with the fierce fire that was consuming me from within, hoping that words weren’t necessary to express what I was feeling.
But as if I wasn’t obvious enough, she decided to ask anyway, ‘Does that mean ayes?’
‘Does this mean ayes?’ I asked her back, waiting for her to confirm that she was agreeing to the new deal.
The answer which I expected came, ‘Yes.’
‘Then so be it.’ I groaned, biting on her lower lip as it was time to seal the deal and take her to the dark side of my universe.
My hands had no control, skimming the surface of her dress and wondering how long will it take me to remove it, while my tongue was competing in a race of supremacy against hers. My fucking shirt suddenly seemed to be strangling me. And as I tried to remove it, Bea came to my assistance, running her fingers across the tattoos that covered my chest making the shirt fall off my shoulders.
I couldn’t fully relax and enjoy her quest for the shape of my muscles, as glimpses of total madness were interfering with our moment of intimacy. She did me wrong, and she needed to pay a price for that. My restlessness was interfering with my state of mind, trying to detach myself from the exuberating passion yet at the same time unable to do so.
I guess my turmoil was quickly noticed and Bea started to ask questions of her own, ‘Is everything ok?’
What could I answer? That I was losing it?
I needed to improvise, even if my notion ofimprovisingmight not agree with her. ‘Yes... I just got an idea.’
I didn’t leave her much time to wonder about what that idea was. I just raised her on my waist and started walking towards the bed.
She was already burning like mystifying fire, sliding against the silk sheets in hopes that she would still the needy pressure gathering between her thighs.
I did not linger to raise myself above her, lifting her hands over her head and making her my prisoner with only a fine black scarf that I used to secure her wrists.
‘What are you doing?’ I could sense a concealed panic in her voice. She was afraid of me, but even more afraid to admit it.
‘Only what you allowed me to.’ My words lacked the warmth I had gotten her used to. It was because my heart also lacked that warmth. It was replaced by an unbearable tremor that was guiding me into carrying out all sorts of reckless things.
‘Ferris, what’s wrong?’ Another of her questions followed. She was starting to freak out because of my newly surfacing coldness.
‘What’s wrong!? What’s wrong!?’ I couldn’t believe she was asking me that. Didn’t she realize what was wrong?
I was to show her what was wrong. She would feel the wrath of betraying me. The same way I felt the pain of her not being mine.
Without the slightest regret, I pulled out my knife, fusing its blade against the seductive shape of her lips.
If I didn’t own her feelings, then at least I would own her nightmares.
‘What’s wrong is that you’ve played me. What’s wrong is that you led me to believe things that weren’t fucking real.’ I drove my knife to the base of her throat, trembling with excitement at the way her body was shaking in my presence.
Her hips were arching into the mattress while her breasts were raising and falling so heavily that one may think she would fall prey to ecstasy.
Sex and fear — such similar notions, both making your insides quiver with the rush of adrenaline that is taking hold of your body. Both so exciting and addictive that it was easy to confuse any with the effects of the strongest type of drug.
‘I didn’t... I didn’t... I never promised you more than I can give.’
‘You didn’t have to say it with words. I’ve seen it reflected in your gestures.’ I let my blade roll over her breasts as the hardness of the steel seemed to bereflectingin my pants. ‘But it was all a lie, wasn’t it?’ I was somewhere between aroused and driven to the very limits of my sanity.
‘I never lied to you, no matter what you think. I... I care about you... I have feelings for you.’ The bitch was lying to me again. How the fuck could she have feelings for me when she had given Brax the lead between her sheets?
‘Feelings!?’ I was breaking wild, cutting open the material that covered her cleavage, mere splinters of insanity away from doing the same to her flesh. ‘Feelings!?’ I felt my voice trembling as I realized that no matter what I would do to her, things would never be the same.
It was only a mission that needed to be fulfilled at all costs. ‘How could you have feelings for me while you’refuckingBrax!?’ I wasn’t even asking for explanations. I didn’t care why she did it. I just cared that I wasn’t her first.
‘Did he tell you?’
‘He didn’t need to. I know Brax well enough to be able to figure things out by myself.’ My knife ran over the strap that held her bra together, cutting it open. Damn, she was so sexy that I couldn’t decide if I should fuck her or kill her.
