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“He’s not feeling well,” I say, feeling like it’s a lie. Noah isn’t feeling well, but it’s because he for some reason got wasted last night. “He said it feels like the flu so he’s staying away and will be here later if he feels better. He’s napping now.” Dammit. I’m a horrible liar. I tend to overcomplicate things.
“Do you think you’re coming down with it? You look a little ragged today. Ragged, but beautiful.” Mom puts her hand on my stomach. “The flu is no fun when you’re pregnant. I got it twice when I was pregnant with Katie.”
“I think I’ll be all right.” I only look ragged because I’m tired. I text Noah to see how he’s doing and to tell him to get his butt over here. His mom will be here soon and I don’t want to lie to her, because she’ll probably know it’s a lie. Noah is her son, after all. She might not have been the best mother, but she knows him.
The shower starts, and I’m temporarily distracted. Then it’s time to open gifts, and I’m missing him. I don’t like sitting in front of people, opening presents. It’s awkward. What if I don’t like what someone got and they can see it on my face?
I send him another text and actually get a reply. He’s waking up and will be on his way. Thank goodness. I just need to stall for about fifteen minutes and I won’t have to open presents alone. How can I buy time? I can spend at least five in the bathroom, maybe? I don’t want people to think I’m pooping. That’s just as awkward as the gifts.
“Are you okay?” Rachel asks me when I sneak away from the living room into the laundry room. “What are you doing in here?”
“Uh, taking a minute.” It’s the truth. I plan to take at least ten of these minutes. “Just feeling overwhelmed with everything.” Another truth, but it feels so wrong to blame my unease on Ella.
“It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it? Seeing all the baby stuff makes it that much more real, I bet.”
“Yes, that’s it. I just need like five minutes to chill.”
“Take the time you need. I’ll tell Katie and she’ll distract the crowd.”
I smile at my best friend. “Thank you.” She gives me a hug and leaves to find my sister, who’s able to stall for ten minutes. I text Noah again, and he doesn’t reply. Maybe because he’s on his way? I can only hope.
Another ten minutes go by and I can’t get out of presents any longer. I sit on the couch and open them one by one, holding everything up for my guests to see. It takes forever to open everything. And Noah still isn’t here.
The party dies down, until only Rachel and my sisters are left to help clean up. Jenny hasn’t said one word to me but I’m just too tired to worry about it right now.
“Sit down,” Mom tells me when I help toss paper plates. “Put your feet up. You look tired, sweetie.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I go into the living room and lay on the couch, feeling like I’m to the point of exhaustion where I just want to cry myself to sleep.
Once the house is clean, Mom and Dad help load stuff into my Jeep. Ella is sitting low in my ute and I’m waddling as I walk, carrying bags of clothes to the door for Dad to grab. The last parcel is in my Jeep when Colin pulls in the driveway, here to pick up Jenny and eat whatever is left over. Noah is in the passenger seat. Oh, right. His bike is at the bar and his Charger is still parked at his apartment. I wonder what he told Colin when he picked him up.
I stand in the threshold of the door, waiting for Noah to get in the house.
“Your mother already left, and you missed the baby shower.” I say each word slow and quiet as soon as Noah is in earshot.
“I know. I’m sorry,” he says and tries to hug me. I might be acting childish, but I turn and walk away.
“Oh, Noah!” Mom says. “Glad you’re feeling better. Lauren said you thought you had the flu.”
“Yeah … the flu,” he mumbles and comes inside. “Do you need help with anything?”
“No,” I snap. “We got it all without you.”
Katie narrows her eyes, watching and noticing something is off. Dammit, she’s too observant. I make myself appear relaxed, and take Noah’s hand. Yes, I’m pissed at him. So incredibly pissed. But I don’t want the others to know. Not yet at least.
We stay and talk about babies and parenting with my family for a bit, then leave when Rachel does.
“You told everyone I had the flu?” Noah questions, getting into the driver’s side of the Jeep.
