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A knock sounded on the heavy front door a while later, and I called out to grant my visitor entry. It would take more than needing to answer the door to tempt me out of my cosy reading nook, especially as I knew exactly who it would be.
“Hey doll,” Linc announced as he pushed into the cabin. His white-blond hair so long now that it was hanging in his eyes. “How’d you sleep?”
I rolled my eyes at him as I closed my book and curled my feet up to make space for him to slump down next to me.
“Crappy. You need a haircut.”
He chuckled and shrugged. “Yeh, probably. I’ll get to it.”
I laughed. “Sure you will. What’s the plan today?”
The amusement fell from his face as his expression morphed into a concerned frown. “You should take a break, Cor, you’re exhausted.”
I scowled. “I am perfectly capable of deciding when I need to rest.”
“Yeh,” he sighed, pushing his hair back. “Well Spence says otherwise. You’re off duty for now.”
I sat straight. “What?! No! I need to be busy, Linc.”
He gave me a look that came painfully close to pitying. “Doll, you’re a shell. You need to stop running and face what happened. You need to sleep.”
My chest tightened, panic bubbling closer.
“I can’t,” I whispered. “Trust me, I’ve tried.”
He reached out and pulled me close, tugging me under his arm and giving me a tight side-hug. “I know, but you can’t live like this.”
He kissed the top of my head affectionately before turning me to face him and giving me a firm look. “It’s been months. I know you don’t want to face it, but you have to, or you’re just going to fade away.”
My breath caught as emotion rose up my throat, but Linc wasn’t finished.
“The portal is dead, there’s been no word, no sign. You have to accept that, even if you don’t want to. Your life is here now and you need to start living it.”
I blinked fiercely, forcing away the tears that threatened to fall and pushing to stand over him.
“You think I don’t know this?!” I yelled suddenly. “I went back to that fucking portal gate for months, waiting for it to open, waiting to force my way through!”
I shoved my hands into my hair as I tipped my face to the ceiling.
“But no, nothing, so I’m stuck here. Without my mates, with my bonds stretched so damn thin that I can hardly feel them. And all I have left now is the space and time to wonder if they even tried to come back. If they even cared at all.”
My voice cracked at that admission, the emotions tumbling through my chest as grief, hurt and anger threatened to overwhelm me. Linc grabbed my arm and tugged me back to sit on the couch before moving to kneel on the floor before me so that our eyes were level.
“Cor,” he said earnestly, tucking a curl of hair behind my ear. “They tried. Those bonds were real. We could all see that.”
I scoffed lightly, brushing a stray tear from my cheek with a shaking hand.
“I guess this is what I wanted, right?” I murmured, my voice full of bitterness. “I spent my whole life wishing for freedom, wanting to escape that realm, and now I have it.”
I looked into Linc’s eyes, seeing how much he was hurting for me and losing the battle with my tears.
“Be careful what you wish for, eh?” I whispered thickly.
He released a long breath and gathered me into his arms, scooping me into his lap as I finally let myself cry. It had been six long months without them, without answers, and without any real effort on my part to face Zeke’s betrayal or grieve everything I lost without warning. Linc was right, I was fading away. I’d stopped trying. Stopped fighting.
I lifted my head as my chest loosened and my sobs lost their momentum, looking into the pale eyes of the man who had become my closest friend.
“You’re wrong,” I croaked. “I don’t have to accept it.”
