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Oh, who the fuck am I kidding?
I’ve got zero qualms over what happened in my bedroom last night.
“You look very lovely,” he tells me, tugging on a strand of hair that’s fallen out of the tie. “But what’s with the turtleneck?”
“Just felt like trying something different.” I shrug, grabbing my phone and car keys. He follows me out the door to where Betty is already waiting. She’s an anxious ball of energy, which seems to be her regular state these days.
“Let’s go, we’re going to be so late.”
She rushes out the door, not bothering to see if we’re following her. Noah grabs my hand as we make our way outside, pulling me to a stop. “You gonna be okay tonight?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I don’t pretend to know everything that’s going on with you and Theo. But I do know there’s a lot you haven’t been telling me recently.” He holds my gaze, his blue eyes holding mine. At this moment, I feel like the worst friend in the world. “I’m not expecting you to tell me everything, baby girl. I know there’s a connection between the two of you that I doubt I’ll ever truly understand the magnitude of, but I just need to know that whatever comes next, you’ll be okay.”
It’s not that I don’t want to talk to my friends about everything.
I do.
Well, most things anyway.
They know some of what’s happened, like the dining hall incident, because I couldn’t exactly hide that from them, but I don’t know how to put into words my relationship, or lack thereof, with Theodore.
For so long, he stayed away.
Torturing me from afar.
Now, he’s here and I’m here, and we’re being drawn together.
I can’t make sense of any of it. I want to say it’s nothing. That I’m just playing the game, but it’s more than that. It’s always been more with Theodore.
“I’ll be okay,” I tell him, squeezing his hand. I’m not sure if it’s him I’m trying to convince or myself, but I say the words with enough conviction I almost believe it. He continues to hold my stare, searching my face. When he nods, his body relaxing in relief, I let out a small breath.
Look at that.
I somehow convinced us both.
“This is it,” Betty tells me, pointing towards an old beaten down building. I roll my car to a stop on the kerb, parking behind a familiar black Camaro. I wait a long moment, letting both my friends hop out before turning the engine off.
I’m determined to be a good friend tonight. A fun friend. Even if that means interacting with the devil himself. I take a deep breath and plaster a smile on my face before joining them on the pavement.
I’m pleasantly surprised to find the interior far nicer than the exterior. There are several large snooker tables in the centre of the room with a long bar off to the left. A couple of leather couches line the right wall, while a few small armchairs fill the extra space.
The guys are already here, standing around a table. I lean back against the wall, just watching as Betty and Noah go and join them. They’re all full of smiles, and it hurts.
It hurts so fucking bad to see what my life should have been like.
To see my best friends interacting with my oldest friends.
Theodore looks up at me, a strange expression on his face. Though Kyle is the one who breaks away, walking towards me. He smiles widely when he reaches me, holding his hand out towards mine. “You coming over, or are you just going to stand there awkwardly all night?”
“I was thinking the latter, it seems to be our standard these days.” I chuckle, thinking back to the interaction we had in the hallway. He tilts his head, eyeing me for a moment before he grabs my hand and pulls me off the wall.
“We don’t bite, you know?”
“Well, that’s disappointing.”
“What is?” Gage throws an arm over my shoulder, pulling me into his hard chest. I don’t bother pushing him away. Instead, I let my head fall to his chest for a moment.
