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It’s nice.
Familiar.
Even with the years of distance between us.
“That you don’t bite.”
“Oh, baby, I’ll bite if you want me to.” A hand reaches out, whacking him on the back of his head with a loud slap. “Shit. Okay, stop. Message received. No sexual innuendos around Fallon.”
He lets go of me, walking around the table to where Betty stands and throws his arm around her. She looks up at him like he hung the stars for her. And now I understand why she dragged us here, and why she was so anxious about coming.
I move away from them all, grabbing a coke from the bar and taking a seat on one of the stools. Theodore walks up to me, a smug grin on his face when he notices my outfit. “Nice jumper.”
Glaring at him, I go to turn away, but he steps into me and spreads my thighs with his legs.
“How did you sleep last night?” he murmurs. His hand creeps up, his fingers tugging at the neckline of my black sweater, peeling it away from my skin. “Interesting, isn’t it?”
“What?” I say breathlessly, when his hand curls around my neck, squeezing lightly.
“Those marks on your neck.” He leans into me, his mouth caressing mine, though, he still doesn’t kiss me. No matter how many times we find ourselves in this situation, he won’t claim my lips as his own—apart from when I’m sleeping. “You should really be careful with letting people around your body, Casper.”
He leaves me then, my mouth gaping as he saunters away as though he didn’t just turn my world upside down with a handful of words. If I could be careful in letting him around my body, I would be.
At least that’s what I try to tell myself.
He’s the only person I want around, even though I’m not sure that’s a good thing.
“Are you okay?” Betty asks, hopping onto the stool beside me and ordering a drink.
“Yeah.”
“What’s going on with you two?”
“What’s going on with you and Gage?” I retort. She laughs at my clear deflection, her nose wrinkling. The blue in her eyes glitters under the fluorescent lights as she glances over to her stepbrother. Her lips twist slightly, though, she quickly schools the expression before turning to me again.
“Nothing,” she tells me, though, I don’t believe a word she’s saying. Anyone with eyes would see there’s something between them, but I know she’s not ready to admit to it just yet. “We’re talking about you and Theo.”
“What do you want me to tell you?” I ask her, staring into the brown liquid in my glass as it fizzes to the surface. “Want me to tell you that I’m struggling to keep my anger towards him? That when he’s not around I miss him? That when he is around, I don’t know how to act or think or even breathe at times?”
“Fallon,” she starts, her voice quiet and laced with sadness. Though I barely hear her as the words continue to spill out of me.
“You know, we’ve barely spoken more than a few words to each other since uni started, and yet, we’ve done other things and it feels explosive and magnetic. And all those feelings I’ve kept hidden away for years have jumped back to the surface and slapped me in the face. Even now, I can feel him. He’s everywhere and nowhere all at the same time and it’s confusing and scary but thrilling, and I don’t know what to do about it. What to do about him.”
She watches me closely with soft eyes. I never intended to say all of that, but the words slipped out, and oddly, I don’t regret them.
Out of both my friends, Noah is my protector.
He’d wrap me up in bubble wrap if he could.
Whereas, Betty, she is my person.
The only one in the world I could say this to without shame or judgement.
“Fallon.” She leans into me, pressing her hand against my trembling one. “I think you need to talk to him. Find some common ground. I can’t say for sure, but the way he looks at you, I’d say he’s as confused about all of this. Though I doubt he’d ever say it out loud. You two are magnetic, you always have been. Talk to him, Fallon. Just let it out, maybe work on a friendship again. Who knows what could happen. And even if nothing does come of it, at least you know you’ve been true to yourself and tried. All you can do is try.”
Biting the inside of my cheek, I mull over her words. I know she’s right, but there’s something scary about putting yourself out there. In exposing the most vulnerable parts of yourself.
Theodore’s eyes meet mine then.
