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I feel nothing, not the water and not my steps. I’m floating on air until I reach the gate.
Aunt Nora appears, holding an umbrella, and lets me in. She’s a short woman with dreamy gray eyes and a soft bone structure.
“Oh, dear. You’re soaked. Are you okay?”
I must look like an injured puppy caught in the rain, and while looking less than pristine would’ve bothered me on other days, it doesn’t now.
I don’t think it will ever again.
“I…I’m fine,” I breathe out, having trouble speaking past the lump that’s been in my throat for hours. “Is Daniel home?”
“Yes, I heard his car earlier. He’s probably in the guest house.”
The house that’s as far away from his parents as physically possible. I know that because he’s been telling Astrid that he’s going to move out as soon as he’s done with school.
“Can I go see him?”
“Sure…” I don’t wait for her to say anything as I storm past her.
“You should drive your car inside, Nicole,” she calls after me, but I don’t hear her.
I don’t even care about the car that I left unlocked on the side of the road.
My pulse roars in my ears as I walk, then jog, then break into a full sprint under the rain, letting it wash away the rotten stench that clings to my skin.
By the time I arrive in front of the pyramid-shaped guest house, I’m panting, my hair covers my eyes, and my clothes feel heavy sticking to my skin.
My fingers spasm as I hit the doorbell.
A few seconds later, a light comes on from the inside and the door opens.
I take my first real breath in hours the moment my eyes clash with Daniel’s.
He’s my safety. The person who always made me feel calm and happy and…me.
And maybe I went the wrong way to have him. Maybe I should’ve just told him that I like him and I’d wait until he liked me back.
I love you. I think I’ve loved you since we were kids. I know you think I’m a bitch, but that’s only because I don’t know how to express myself and I was taught to never show feelings. But I promise to change if you teach me how.
I open my mouth to say just that.
“Daniel, I—”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” There’s a slur in his speech, a troubled look on his face, and a dark gleam in his usually bright eyes.
They look gloomier than the gray sky and the pouring rain.
His fingers twitch and I’m not sure if it’s because he’s drunk or something else.
“I had to see you and tell you that—”
“You fucked Chris in your pool house? Astrid broke the news. Congrats and fuck off.”
“That’s not—”
He grabs a handful of my hair at the nape, stepping in the rain with me. His fingers are harsh, unforgiving, as he speaks so close to my lips, he’s almost kissing me. “I always knew you were a conniving, manipulative fucking bitch.Always. But I kept finding loopholes and conjuring excuses for you, kept thinking that maybe it’s your survival tactic after losing your father. I kept being drawn to you and seeing you and watching you, and it drove me fucking insane to even think of you as someone other than the bitch you were. And yet, I couldn’t help being attracted to you and wanting you more than my next breath. I’ve even abstained from fucking anyone else after that first night I had you.
“But now I realize it was all for nothing. The excuses, the twisted feelings, and my sappy thoughts that you’d change. Every. Fucking. Thing. You just like to toy with others, to manipulate them, then laugh in their fucking faces. Well, guess what, Nicole? I’m off that list, effective immediately. Don’t come near me, talk to me, or even look at me. I’ll pretend you don’t exist and erase the mistake of touching you from my head. From now on, you’re nothing.”
