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“I just want to talk to you.” I let out in a sigh. “Happy now?”
I swear her lips twitch in an almost smile, but she doesn’t let it show. “That wasn’t so hard to say, was it?”
I grunt as a response and this time, she does smile. And I find myself closing my mouth to not drool like a fucking dog.
Jesus.
Nicole is beautiful under normal circumstances, but when she smiles, her entire face brightens and the universe pauses.
At least mine does.
She places her phone beside her and leans forward, gracing me with her full attention. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Everything. Anything.”
“Like what?”
“Like…eleven years back.”
Her lips tremble and she fingers her phone case, absentmindedly digging her nails in. “I already told you…”
“I don’t mean that. I’m interested in everything before it.”
“What do you mean?”
“That Nicole…the bitchy, horrible person who made people feel less than dirt wasn’t real, was she?”
She stares at Jay, the window, her lap—anywhere but at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. The old Nicole was a persona, a defense mechanism of sorts.”
Her long lashes flutter over her cheeks before she stares up. “So what if it was? Will I be forgiven and given a golden medal now?”
“No, you were still a bitch and your actions hurt a lot of people—namely Astrid.”And me.But I keep that to myself, because emotional doesn’t look good on me.
“I know that, which is why I don’t offer excuses. What I did was wrong and that’s that.”
“But I want those excuses.”
“Why would you?”
“Why do you think? Because I want to understand you.”
She swallows, her delicate throat moving up and down and she stares at me funny. As if I’m a different Daniel from the one she’s used to. And maybe I am. My perspective about her is as fickle as England’s sun and just as obscure.
Ever since she told me about the past, I have no fucking clue where to place her anymore. My reasons for revenge are null and void. My need to touch her feels fucking wrong right now. As for my feelings…fuck.
I have no bloody clue what to feel right now.
One thing’s for certain, though. Nicole is the only woman—person—whose sole presence is enough to provoke the most reckless, passionate side of me.
I fully expect her to ignore me, but she whispers, “I was taught early on to never show emotions. They’re a weakness, a hindrance, and would lead to my downfall. My father was an emotional man and that didn’t get him too far in life, so I assumed sealing it all in was the right way to go.”
“Let me guess. Your mother?”
She sets her lips in a line and nods. “Sometimes I hated her for it, but other times I couldn’t blame her. It’s the only way she learned to survive.”
“Are you seriously defending her when she was the reason you were scared shitless about going against Chris? When she turned out to be a psycho?”
