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It wasn’t inappropriate for her to do that. Because he wanted this. He wanted her.
She reached out and pressed her hand against his chest. It was so hot, and she could feel his heartbeat raging there.
She was actually touching him. His skin. His body.
She hadn’t done that, because they were friends. And you didn’t do that to your friend. Except she was. And he was still her friend. Every bit as much as he had been before. Before she had touched him. Before everything.
He was still her friend.
She looked at him, searching his face, and suddenly, she couldn’t find that assurance there. Because he looked like a stranger just then. There was something about the tension in his expression, the sharpness in his eyes. She had never seen that look on his face before. She wondered how many other women had.
But you have this other part of him. And no one else has that.
It was true. And she knew it. They had a connection, and it was bigger than this. Right then, she needed to expand the moment. To include their past.
It made her heartbeat settle just a little bit.
She continued to move her hands over his muscles, slowly, between his pecs, down to his abs, where she let her fingers drift over the ridges there. She swallowed hard. And she looked back up at him.
“What should I do?”
“Whatever you want.”
“Well... I don’t know what I want. Could you... Can you take control, please?”
And it was like a blue spark flashed in his eyes. It was like everything shot off like a rocket. An explosion between them.
She had felt safe with Jace, all this time, for all these years, and just now, it was like she was poised on the knife’s edge of danger. Like she could see there were vast dimensions to this man that she didn’t know, had never known. It was more than just tension in his face. She had opened the door and discovered vast rooms of Jace that she had never realized were there.
And he was the key to her opening the door to those rooms inside of herself too.
She just knew.
But it wasn’t only that she was discovering all this about him, she was about to learn a whole lot about herself.
This was terrifying. It really was.
And wonderful too. Amazing. Something more than she had ever imagined possible. Something different.
And her fantasies about Jace hadn’t prepared her. Because those were her fantasies. It was her hand on her body. Directing the tempo, directing the speed. Deciding exactly what happened when.
She had just turned the control over to him, and that meant to surrender.
On a level she had never quite dreamed.
“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice rough.
“Yes.”
“If there’s something I do, and you don’t like it, you need to tell me to stop.”
“I will.” But she couldn’t imagine him doing anything she didn’t like. That was actually what scared her. That she wasn’t sure there were going to be easy limits to this. Because discovering that he wanted her, and further, discovering that she wanted badly to surrender to whatever that meant...
It was like being tossed into the deep endlessness of the sea.
She wasn’t sure it had an end.
“I want this,” she said. “I want... I want you.”
