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“Your loss.” I turn on my heel and walk out to the middle. I raise my arms in the air and let out a “Woo” and start shaking my ass to the beat. I’m actually lost in the music and cutting lose when I feel a warm hand slip around my waist to my stomach. We start moving together, in sync. I know it’s him, I don’t have to look. Before turning around, I reach one arm back and up around his neck, pulling him close to my upstretched mouth, and say, “took you long enough.” Cole spins me around and I am greeted by the sexiest smile. “How much have you had to drink, young lady? Because I’m liking my chances tonight.”
“Shut up, you fool. I’m not going to go home with you, but I’m not opposed to dancing with you… unless you need to get back your friends?”Please say no, please say no
“They’ll survive.”
Mental high-five!
We both turn back to the band and applaud.
We dance to two more songs, laughing at how ridiculous we look to the hipsters trying to out-cool each other, and decide to break for water. I’ve been gone longer than a good friend should be, hoping Alex isn’t mad at me for abandoning her.This man is like an industrial strength magnet. I am not myself.As we walk back to the bar, Alex is standing and laughing with the bouncer from the door.
“Hey, lovebirds!” she says as we walk up. I could kill her. “This is Chris, Chris this is Cole and Mia.”
“Hey,” Chris says, nodding his massive neck. I think he may have missed his calling for football. He looks like a linebacker and is probably just as smart, but at least Alex seems happily distracted.
Cole wraps his arms around me from behind and puts his chin on my shoulder. I smile big and squeeze his arms.I like this. We fit.The whole night has been amazing, dancing and laughing and just being with him. I wish I could stop time and stay in this moment. Alex with Chris and me with…Snap back, Mia!I can’t get sucked into this just because he danced with me a few times. I’m not with Cole, I just happen to be in the same place tonight, giving into his charm. I’m sure last night he was with some other woman, and tomorrow night it will be another. Just like Jack, acts like Mr. Loyal Lover and turns up leaving the neighbor’s apartment! I’ve just remembered this and it pisses me off all over again. Not to mention, how about Carter Williams, my own personal repeat attacker. SERIOUSLY? I just want to enjoy this perfect evening, but my mind never fails to go back to everything I’ve been through. I’m a different person now. Putting up walls is the only way to protect myself.
If I keep going down this road, my heart will end up roadkill. I’m suddenly keenly aware that my shoulders have tensed. The liquor settles in, making me feel a little queasy.
Cole must feel me tense, because he kisses my cheek and says, “Everything okay?”Hmmm, am I okay?Fuck, I don’t know. Actually, I do know that no, I am not okay. Quite the opposite, I’m a total fucking mess.
“I, can we, um, I need some air.” I break away from his arms and book it toward the door. I can feel the air cutting off from my lungs and the room closing in. I push out the side door of the bar. “Ahhhh,” the air feels like a baptism. I’m okay, I just needed some air, that’s all.
What the fuck, Mia?! Get your head straight!Why do I do this? Panic over having a good time? I need to stop pausing everything good, and fight believing that I don’t deserve joy. Enough with punishing myself, already. There is a beautiful, successful, super-hot man inside, and by some miracle he’s waiting for me. Why can’t that be enough for tonight?
After five minutes of standing and looking up at the sky, I gather myself to walk back in, but as I turn the corner toward the entrance, I hear Alex yelling, angrily.
“What is wrong with you? I told you not to come, but you can’t just listen!”
Who the hell is she laying into?I walk around the potted plants by the front doors to find out exactly what is going on, and there’s Cole. He’s pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair, looking ferociously angry.
“I told you,” Alex yells, “I freaking told you to let me handle it! But noooo you never listen, Parker! Your stupidity could ruin everything! Next time, just keep your ass at home!”
What the ever-loving fuck?!?Why is Alex talking to Cole like they know each other? Why is she telling him to stay home “next time”?! I realize I’m charging in their direction because Cole stops pacing and smacks Alex’s arm.
“Ow! Dick!” She yelps as she turns and sees me. Her eyes grow wide and I sense fear from her, maybe because I look angrier than ever.
“I don’t know what the hell is going on, but someone better start talking. Actually, let me start. How the hell do you two know each other?!” The last part is more of a scream than I would like it to be.
Cole is frozen in place, all coolness faded, his face still beautiful but his expression, lost. I’ve never experienced lost Cole, but I don’t have time for the distraction of him now.
“Speak!” I yell.
“Look, I know this looks strange, but there really is a very good explanation for this,” he stutters. Alex chimes in, “Calm down, Mia, it’s not that big of a deal,” and waves me off, dismissively.
“Not that big of a deal? I will be the judge of that. How am I supposed to figure out what kind of deal it is when neither of you seem very forthcoming with the truth? How come every time I am getting my bearings again, the very people closest to me seem to be plotting behind my back?! Now, I would like to know WHAT THE FUCK is going on, and I would like to know right this minute. Did you two date once, or something? Because you obviously know each other from before tonight.”
I can’t even look at Cole, because I don’t want to see his face when he answers this question, but their reaction is unexpected. Cole and Alex turn toward each other and burst into laughter! When they finally look back at me, they fall silent again. Maybe because my face is oozing, “fuck you both”.
“Mia,” Alex starts, “we were looking for you after you ran out. I was convinced that Cole acted like a jerk and I was yelling at him for upsetting you. I wanted him to let me handle finding you but he wasn’t listening.” Alex crosses the gap between us and gives me hug. “You okay? Why did you run out?”
“I needed air, it was hot and I wasn’t feeling well,” I say, leaning into her. Something is still not right in Alex’s explanation, and I didn’t see the giant bobcat that came and took Cole’s tongue. I’m confused and angry and woozy from alcohol. Did I overreact? Is my paranoia making me question my best friend and the hottest guy I’ve met in forever?
“I’m sorry I yelled and acted insane. I don’t know what I’m thinking. I saw you guys yelling and Cole looked upset. It seemed pretty familiar and… I don’t know.”God I feel dumb!
“Aww buttercup, you were jealous over me?” Cole finally rejoins the conversation. It’s like he was in a trance and just came back to life.
“You wish!”
