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Maddison wondered how in just a snap, they seemed to have lost it all.
And then he realized, it was only him. He was the only one who lost it.
Saturday mornings were for sleeping in, because Friday nights meant staying up and finishing a painting in record time, or rerunning all the Gilmore Girls episodes available online while eating Cheetos.
So why, Maddison thought grudgingly, why were they standing in school grounds, at half-past five in the morning? Maddison yawned. They were headed to the coast for a field trip, visiting beaches and markets and art galleries and Maddison was ready to go back to sleep. The only thing he was looking forward to was the art galleries, and maybe, of course, sitting beside Sammy on the bus and spending the day beside him. It was tradition. This couldn't be so bad.
But it could. Itsocould.
“Sammy, over here!” Maddison waved from where he was seated, a huge smile plastered on his face. Sam looked so beautiful in the morning light; Maddison's fingers itched to paint him.
“Mads.”
Maddison scooted closer to the window to give Sam more space to sit on, hugging his backpack to his chest. “I'm claiming dibs on the window seat, as always. Oh, and I got us our Lays and Ruffles. Which one do you want first? I say Ruffles.” He tapped the seat beside him, gesturing for Sam to sit already.
“Mads.” Sam was scowling, not at him, but at the floor. Maddison didn't like this one bit. “I'm sitting with Ayako.”
A slice. And then a crumble.
“Oh.” A gush of breath slipped past Maddison's lips. “Of course. Of course. Go sit with your Ayako.” His voice was so fake and airy, Maddison wanted to stab himself.
“Are you gonna be okay?” Sam's brows were still furrowed. Maddison waved him off, unzipping his backpack and grabbing his headphones.
“Yeah, yeah. Duh. Go away, Sammy. Shoo.” He put on his headphones and connected it to his phone, selecting the loudest One OK Rock song he could find.
Sam was saying something before he went to the back of the bus, but Maddison didn't hear him, already far gone with his thoughts.
Tradition, my ass.
Chapter 2
There were times when Maddison walked home with Sam from school and the latter would turn quiet, not saying a word at all. And that's completely fine with Maddison. Silence was comfortable. Their friendship was such that they didn't feel the need to fill all their moments together with mindless conversations. There were also times when they had endless banter, full of energy despite the tiring hours spent in class and clubs to the point that the two would stop in front of their house and sit on the curb to continue chatting, as if it would be the last time they would get to talk to each other. Moments like that were Maddison's favorite, until their mothers put a full stop on it, yelling that dinner was set or that they needed to get inside and change out of their clothes.
Those were good times. And Maddison liked both the quiet moments or the rowdy ones. Maddison liked it best when he was with his Sammy.
Unlike today.
Today, Sam decided he would walk Ayako to the bus stop and had Maddison go home by himself, even though Maddison waited for him to finish practice — albeit not a completely fruitless wait as he was working on his painting in the art club. Still, he wanted to go home with Sam. It had been a while since they went to or from school and Maddison was getting annoyed with mostly everything.
Sam and Maddison's relationship continued to wither like flowers in fall.
Seasons changed and before they knew it, it was fall. School workload was brutal. Volleyball practice was gruesome and the art club was demanding.
Maddison thought that as their time together dwindled down to null, it would be easier to bury his feelings at the back of his mind and focus more on his art. But more than anything, Sam was his inspiration. He was there in every color, every shade of green, every stroke of brush on blank canvas.
How he had wished that he could forget his love for Sam the way an eraser could erase a perfect pencil lining.
[Tuesday evening]
21:03 Saaaaammy I finally got the special Blu-Ray of Rogue One with the commentaries!
21:03 Let's go watch it
21:03 Bring popcorn will yaaaaaaaaaaa
21:04 Hello??????
21:11 sorry can't. I'm over @ ayako's
