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Seeing the hollowness consuming his eyes, I swallowed back what I was going to say. He’s hurting, and there’s nothing I can do right now for him other than be here while he gets through it.
* * *
Over the past three days, I’ve been doing everything I can to ensure Daemon and Hendrik had what they needed. Losing someone like Lana, though I wasn’t close with her, has affected those close to me, but nothing like it has my man and his son. I wish I could take their pain away.
Per Lana’s wishes, she’s being buried today next to her parents.
I went with Daemon, Hendrik, and Trey to the funeral home to offer my silent support as they finalized everything. I hate they are going through all of this and had to lose Lana the way they did.
“Everleigh,” Daemon calls from the front of the house. With Hendrik being with us, we haven’t been back to the clubhouse. Granted, members and the ol’ ladies have been by daily helping out.
“I’m coming,” I answer and look at the stick in my hand. Yesterday while I’d gone to the store, I was passing by the feminine products, and it hit me I hadn’t had my period. At first, I wanted to put it down to all the stress I’ve been under over the past months. But to ease my mind, I got a test and hid it. Staring at it now, I push back the fear that’s threatening to take hold of me. This can’t be happening.
Not now.
God, why did I have to do this now? I should have waited. I can’t tell Daemon about this now. We’re about to lay the mother of his son to rest and he wouldn’t want to know. Well, he would but not when he’s got so much else running through his brain.
I throw the positive test in the trash and look at myself in the mirror one last time before leaving the bathroom. Dressed in a solid black dress, I run my hands down the front, trying to block out all other thoughts, and make my way to where Daemon and Hendrik wait for me. Both of them sporting dark jeans with black button-up long-sleeve shirts. The only difference between the two is Daemon’s got his cut over his shirt.
“Ready,” I say, meeting Daemon’s gaze briefly.
Daemon grunts and ushers Hendrik and me out of the house and to his truck. I don’t miss that he’s still distant from me as he has been in the past few days. I’m trying to give him his space but be here for him all the same. It’s not easy when he seems to be blocking me out. Though I don’t know what he’s going through. Not with these circumstances. I just hope that once the funeral is over that he’ll find a sense of peace in the fact Lana isn’t suffering anymore.
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
DAEMON
If there was ever a time I’ve been a dick, now would be it. The past couple of days have been rough, and I’ve done nothing but be an ass toward Everleigh. She doesn’t deserve it, and I know it. I just needed to get through the funeral and come to grips with the fact Lana’s gone. I might not have been in love with the woman, but she’s the mother of my son. She was also a friend.
Fuck.
I can’t believe she’d keep something so important from all of us. Why couldn’t she tell us what was going on? So many damn times I asked her if she was okay, and she fucking lied to me.
It’s been hours since the service, and here I am, still standing close, watching as the men lower her into the ground. I sent Hendrik and Everleigh off with everyone else. The look my woman gave me was one of apprehension. She didn’t want to leave me alone, but I’m not. My brothers are here though they’re giving me space.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Reaper making his way toward me.
“You gonna be all right?” he asks.
“Yeah, it’s just fuckin’ with my head,” I answer on a harsh breath and turn away from the grave.
“Get it,” Reaper says, getting my full attention. “Lost my whole family, save Angel. It’s not fuckin’ easy losing someone you love. Never will anyone understand what’s going on inside each of us at coming to terms with the grief that wants to overtake us. But remember, you have us. You have your ol’ lady. You’re family.”
“Thanks, Prez.” I give him a chin lift and look toward our bikes. “Guess we better get out of here. I need to check on Hendrik and my woman.”
“Yeah, but you also need to take time to read this,” Reaper says, pulling a folded envelope from his back pocket. “Trey asked me to give this to you before he left. Said he was gonna go hang at the house with Hendrik.”
I stare at the envelope for a long moment before slowly reaching out to take it from him.
“Take your time and we’ll be here when you’re ready to go,” he says, clasping a hand on my shoulder and squeezing.
I nod and swallow past the lump that forms in my throat as I stare at the handwriting that belongs to Lana. I give it a couple of heartbeats then tear the envelope open. I unfold the slip of paper and read the words from the woman herself.
Daemon,
If you’re reading this, then I’m sure you’re probably pissed with me. I get it. I’d be pretty ticked with myself as well. But then again, we both know how stubborn I can be.
I didn’t tell you about my breast cancer because there was nothing you could do about it. It was too progressive, and the end was inevitable. There was no stopping it. We caught it too late.
