AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Valdez was insulted. If Daddy simply asked them to turn their focus there, he would. The horrible men who did what they did usually had other serious charges countries would pay Valdez to catch them on. However, ever the businessman Valdez asked if I would be willing to hack for them, as needed and he would call it even—he’d even pay me for it.
I jumped at the offer. Daddy agreed as long as I didn’t allow it to consume me. I’m positive Daddy talked with Valdez about what he could send me. Because I never did anyone more serious than a run of the mill bad person with an emphasis on clearing background checks. The things I searched never left me with nightmares the way breaking rings did.
Even the cases I helped on with the FBI felt very soft and simple from what they were when I first started. I rarely went into the office since everything was sent to me through email. Sadly, both Don and Presley moved on from their positions. Don onto head an office in New York and Presley and her husband moved back to Houston after she managed a transfer.
I don’t love my life just because of the way Daddy took care of me and loved me. It was the way I’ve grown close to Celia, Aracely, Nikita’s wife, and Mother—I have a family now. I love Daddy and will be forever grateful for him coming into my life. A huge part of it is because of Mother. Her love and care has helped more than even Charlie and therapy. Mother is the person I go to when I can’t go to Daddy. Celia is a close second, followed by Aracely. I went from being alone to having a family who cared for me. Nikita isn’t as bad as I was afraid he was and somehow I don’t hate Milos anymore. I wouldn’t say we’re friends but he is family and I know he cares.
There were some days when I woke up, I wondered if I was still dreaming. It isn't because I live in a beautiful condo in the sky. And it's not because I have only to ask for something before it's given to me. Sometimes I get it without even asking. It's because every day has been better than the last.
Daddy is always thinking of my happiness and when I take the deep breath Charlie urged to consider his side, it made sense for the both of us. More than anything I’ve loved becoming us, not his baby girl or him as my Daddy but us as a unit, a couple.
I’m certain if I thought of it before it happened I would be afraid of losing myself in him, I haven’t, and he hasn’t let me. Even though we spend almost all day every day together I never felt stifled or claustrophobic, I felt safe. And we did manage to spend time a part. I went out for lunch and I’ve gone shopping with Lydia all by myself. Daddy encouraged it when I came home with the most decadent and naughty lingerie from a little shop Lydia introduced me to. Then there was Daddy and work. Sometimes he had to leave me at home, I didn’t ask where he went and he never told me. We both pretended it didn’t happen.
I hadn’t lied to Daddy the first day of therapy, I didn’t believe our life would be all lollipops and candy canes. I expected more conflict and clashing, except it didn’t happen. The only thing we clash over is me doing anything around the house. I’m not allowed to clean unless it’s cleaning up after something I did. The only time I cook is when I cook with Daddy or Mother and if I want to make a treat for him.
But today, I’m almost certain we will clash—probably our biggest yet because I’m not backing down. Even if I’m wrong and it’s a girl, with me wanting at least two more children we’re going to have to have this conversation at one time or another.
A part of me wants to hide from it. Maybe it should just wait until we have to talk about it? If it’s a girl, we don’t have to have the conversation ever. There were countless families that didn’t have boys, what if we didn’t?
Ashamed, I let my head meet the back of the couch. If it’s a girl, I’m keeping my mouth shut. Closing my eyes against the fear, I slip into sleep.
CHAPTER33
Aleksander
Technology is astounding, I marvel again at the sight of our baby on the screen. I hadn’t understood Phoenix’s need to learn the sex before he came but I’m grateful for it now. A boy, relief fills me. Not because I have a longing for a son, because I’m afraid of how Phoenix will react to having a girl.
It’s a fear I’ve shared with Charlie and one she agreed could be an issue. However, we both hoped by Phoenix continuing therapy and having Charlie as a support the turmoil she might experience would be mitigated.
I find Phoenix staring at the screen with a frown. “Are you okay, baby?”
Her smile is forced. “Yes, I’m happy. Really.”
Not buying it for a second, I nod. Thinking of the technician I thank them and ask for the pictures to show our family. We’re due there in an hour. With that in mind, I hold my tongue until we’re in the car on the way to lunch.
Catching her hand in mine, “Now do you want to tell me what’s the matter?”
She sighs as her eyes meet mine. “I want to name him for Raymond.”
The words wash away any hope the past has been laid to rest. Pressing a kiss to the back of her hand, I give it a gentle squeeze. “No. Pick another name.”
Eyes down, she tries to tear her hand from mine. I don’t let it go. “No. It will be Raymond. I don’t care what name you put on the birth certificate but he will answer to Raymond.”
“That is unacceptable.” I take a deep breath. “Our child will not be named for a man with no honor—”
“My son that I have carried, been sick for and with for the past six months and for another fucking four months will be named by me and he will be called Raymond.” She digs in her heels.
The reminder of her poor health over her pregnancy clenches my jaw tight. Her doctor warned of creating as peaceful of an environment for Phoenix even more so than before. The doctor and our Bratva doctor believed anxiety could worsen the symptoms. “We will discuss this at another time.”
She turns to me. “No, we won’t. This isn’t up for discussion.”
For the first time in years her blue eyes are hard and filled with a storm. Catching her around the back of her neck, I pull her close. “I love you more than myself. You are the air I breathe. But I will not allow our child to be called by Raymond. Fight me, and there is only a guarantee of pain—for both of us. Because we cannot hurt the other without also hurting ourselves. We will discuss this at another time.”
I let her go. She curls into the door, away from me. I hate the way my whole body is tense.
George catches my eyes in the rearview mirror. He’s not happy with me. If I weren’t sure he was deeply in love with his own wife, I’d cut off his balls for the way he went out of his way for Phoenix. Anything she asked of him, he did instantly and with a smile. However, it’s clear he considers her a daughter as he’s more than twenty years older than her. All I cared for was he’d happily take a bullet or blow for her.
It’s how we both remain until the car pulls in front of the house. For the first time, Phoenix is out before I can open her door. She walks ahead of me. Forcing another deep breath, I paste a smile on my face for our family.
