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“Do you think anything you’ve done so far has helped the situation? We’re still in the same predicament we were four months ago, and we haven’t moved forward with any planning at all. She’s right. You can’t grasp the seriousness of this situation because you don’t understand what’s at stake. Mason is not going to justgo awayand hoping so has proven to get us nowhere. Katie's killed people, and whether or not those people deserved it, or that she did so for money and to practice so she could kill you... none of that matters anymore. You’ve proven again and again that you can’t handle this. Today was no different, yelling at Audra over the phone about something youknowshe’s incapable of doing.”
Nathan closed the distance between us, the disdain in his eyes blazing hotter and brighter with each step. The blood drained from my face, and I held my breath as my lungs shrunk to a small fraction of their size.
“You have so little understanding of what is going on that you shouldn’t have been allowed leeway, but Katie wasn’t in any shape to stop you when she should’ve. And sheregretsnot stopping you because you put us in this rat hole with no way out.”
“I was doing what I thought was best—”
Nathan cut me off with a large hand on my mouth, and I tensed when he squeezed my chinhard. Backing me against the wall, he loomed over me even though we were about the same height, the shadows playing on his face ominously. For the first time, I realized that Nathan had killed people, too, and my stomach roiled dangerously.
“You can’t have an opinion on something you know nothing about, Brandon, and when you try... this is what happens. You make the situation worse just by being involved. I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t trust Katie or understand where she came from. All I knew was that she was lying, and I was right.”
Jerking my face away, Nathan stepped back, but the hairs didn’t calm on the back of my neck. Goosebumps were welts on my skin, and my heart raced fiercely.
“Ever since the other night, with the exploding package and all her secrets that came spilling out, Katie has acknowledged that if you keep making decisions, she’s going to die. Not you. Not me. Not Audra or Berthold.Katieis going to die, and the only person that wasn’t told... was you. Because even now, even so weak, and empty, she’s still trying to keep you from doing something stupid, to protect you, because you don’t understand the world.
“Here’s a question for you, Brandon. If the thought of her dying is so unbearable, why are you so reluctant to let anyone with actual logistical and combat experience do anything to help?”
Nathan’s gaze sharpened into fine points, and I felt like my heart was going to explode.
“It shouldn’t be that hard to keep track of a corpse in a box, I suppose. So, I’ll propose another question. Why do you think death is worse than what she’s expecting to go back to? All of this will take its toll on you as a couple, and then what? You’ll pretend it’s not a big deal, that you’ll say you’re trying to work through it, but really, you’re not trying at all, you’re just ignoring it. And then, this baby will be born, and what’ll you do then? Fight constantly? Disregard anything she says? Divorce because she’s just so unhappy and you don’t understand why, and then what? You’re rich, you idiot. You have no idea how terrifying even living above the poverty line is to someone like Katie.”
“Being dead is worse for you. Being alive is worse for her. You have two choices, here, Brandon. Accept or deny. Think about it, and whichever option hurts you more is the right one.” Scanning me shrewdly, Nathan rolled his eyes and scratched his jaw, his dark skin flushing darker. “And I shouldn’t have to say this, but there are no sides in a marriage— not a good marriage. You’re supposed to be a team. But, considering that you’re a chicken with a knife in its beak trying to kill a bear and ignoring everyone around you, I didn’t think I’d be this disappointed to hear you say I chose her over you. I’d prefer to think of it like you’re wrong and she’s right, and I gotta say... I don’t want her blood on my hands because I listened to you knowing that. I also think that without the lies and all that, I’d kinda like her as a person once I got to know her.”
“Iamtrying.” Even to my own ears, I sounded pitiful.
Nathan raised his hand in dismissal. “You have no idea about effort and will power. You have neither. Your money and your power have replaced those things. That’s why Katie wanted you to suffer a bit, bring you down to earth. You’ve never had to ask twice. Never had to even ask at all, sometimes. No one ever tells you ‘no’ or even ‘maybe’. Even what she wanted with the money restrictions might be a slight improvement, but really, it’s just having less money. It’s not really suffering. And if you’ve never suffered, you can’t put effort into something because the option of not having it never crosses your mind. Anything you want, you just buy, but you can’t buy Katie’s safety, love, or life.”
I winced as Nathan’s voice roughened with earnestness, and he started walking the way he’d come with a leisurely gait.
“The sooner you accept doing things her way, the sooner we can get out of this mess.”
Glaring hotly through the tears that stung my eyes, I scowled at the grout between the floor and the wall that spilled over the edge of the molding. Wiping my running nose with a trembling, cold hand, I sniffled harshly before pushing myself off the wall. My knees almost gave way completely, almost instantly, and a grunt escaped me to echo down the quiet hall.
“God.”Living is worse for her.How could being alive be worse than being dead! Shaking my head viciously, I rubbed my palms down my face and inhaled a shallow, hot breath.
Heading for the kitchen, I pushed open the door only to pause when I saw Katie and Julia hanging over a rather large salad in the far corner. Both women were obviously in the middle of an intense conversation, and my eyelid twitched. My blood boiled in my veins, and I pursed my lips thinly to hide my chattering teeth.
“You don’t look so good, Brandon.” Julia’s concern tinged her voice and rang in my ears, and I shuffled heavily toward the refrigerator.
The silence buzzed in the room, tense and heavy, and I just wanted to crawl into the cold space and freeze. Grabbing a water bottle, I inhaled the frigid air and closed my eyes as it helped cool me down.
Behind me, the door flung open again, and I glanced up as one of the soldiers stationed here came waltzing in with a male nurse. They were in such a deep conversation, but I couldn’t hear their words. Only garbled voices registered in my head before they both paused, realizing the atmosphere in the kitchen.
My gaze bounced between Katie and the pair, my frazzled mind struggling to work.People will die, probably.
“Are you okay with dying here?” The soldier— I didn’t know his name, and I didn’t care— his brows rose high, a bark of sharp laughter escaping him at my rasp. Out of the corner of my eye, Katie rolled her eyes with a horrid, loud scoff as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Listen, y’all...” The thick, Texas twang belayed a weary voice, and he glanced at his friend warily. “I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t wanna know. Don’t drag me into it, okay? I’m just a Private First Class. I’m not paid enough to worry about where I die. I’m only paid enough to worry about why.”
“Don’t pay any attention to him. He’s just mad he’s not getting the answer he wants.” Katie shot me a venomous glare even as she wheeled herself over to him and held out her hand. “Give me your gun.”
Without hesitation, the soldier did as ordered, and horror gripped my heart as she sniffed hard and pushed herself out of her wheelchair. Pointing the gun atme, her eyes narrowed into fine points, and I tensed as warning signals fired off in my tired head. Her piece didn’t waver in the slightest as all my senses honed in on it, and she held it withconfidence.
“I told you already, Brandon. Back off. Do I have to shoot you to make you shut up? Does taking a bullet automatically disqualify you from making decisions like it did with me? Because I’m tired of you trying to keep the moral high ground when we’re dealing with someone who has none. I’ve tried over and over to tell you, but that’s not working, obviously. You had your turn, and all you did was mess up an already unstable situation. Now, it’s my turn, and you have no say anymore. Anything you say will be ignored or overruled.” The finality in her tone, the hard set of her jaw, brokered no argument, and Katie arched a brow almost ferociously. “If you don’t like that... I don’t care.”
ChapterThirteen
KATIE
