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“Oh, sonowyou’re worried about dying! You just threatened to kill yourself hours ago!” Brandon’s voice cracked hard.
I could only shake my head in disappointment. Surprise flickered on the faces of the other two men in the room, but I ignored them to rub my face in exasperation. I was soannoyedgoing around in circles because Brandon couldn’t contemplate the forces at play here.
“Okay. You know what. Forget it.” Pointing the gun at my neck, I watched the blood drain from his face as he jerked forward a few feet. The cold barrel burned my skin, and I licked my teeth absently to get rid of the sourness that coated them. My heart beat steadily, and I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long, long time.
Surety.
“If you don’t wanna see it, look away.” Instantly, Brandon closed his eyes and ducked his head, covering his ears with his hands. His water bottle dropped to the floor to spill all over, and I raised the gun to fire into the ceiling. Thebangwas horrible, but Brandon just crumpled to the floor to curl up in a fetal position. Conflicted feelings barraged my chest and crowded my lungs.
All the things that made me love Brandon before made me hate him, now. That kinda sucked. He was so sweet, and innocent, andbright, but there was no room for that here.
Handing the soldier back his handgun, I walked over to Brandon to kick his shin weakly. His head snapped back, bloodshot eyes focusing on me through the haze as I knelt down. Surprise flashed across his expression, but he was pale, shaking uncontrollably, and even his teeth chattered between parted, crackling lips.
“Don’t make the mistake of thinking that I’m not going to kill myself because I don’t truly want to, or I’m afraid, or I’m hoping that we can somehow fix this and be together, Brandon. I’m not going to die on this island because if I do, I can’t kill Mason with my own two hands. At the very least, I’m going to accomplish that before I go. Revenge keeps people alive much longer than they’re supposed to be. I would know.” I patted his facehard, but not quite a slap, when his eyes started floating away from me. He jerked with a wheeze, and I frowned slightly as sadness gripped my heart in a vice. “Hey— Listen to me, Brandon. You need to stop if you want even the slightest chance of moving on after this.”
“B-but I l— love you... I ca— I can’t... I can’t—” Blubbering awfully, Brandon’s eyes rolled a little before he passed out cold.
My frown deepened as I stood up. Gesturing the soldier and the nurse, I shook my head as I walked back over to my salad. Unsurprisingly, my hunger had vanished, but I forced myself to take bites that tasted like nothing. Actively avoiding watching the pair drag Brandon out of the room, I swept back my hair as I leaned on the metal prep table to hold my forehead in my hand.
“What were we talking about again?” Straightening with a sharp breath, I stabbed a cherry tomato to cast a questioning glance at Julia.
“Wecouldtalk about what just happened...”
My chest tightened at that, and I fought the so recent memories that bombarded my eyes when I blinked.
“I know why Brandon is focusing on the wrong things and doing them the wrong way, but was that really necessary?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. All I know is that I can’t take care of Mason and Brandon at the same time. He can’t contemplate suicide or killing Mason, but at least one of those things are going to happen.” Shoving my forkful of salad into my mouth, I forced myself to chew and swallow, and Julia was quiet simply because she couldn’t refute me. “I wish none of this happened, but it did, and there’s no use beating around the bush anymore. Who I was with Brandon was beautiful and pure, but it’ll never be that way again. It’s sad, yes, but if I accomplish any one thing before I go, it’ll be killing Mason, and I can’t do that if Brandon doesn’t stop screwing everything up.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t be a different beautiful with him.”
I was sofucking tiredof having this same conversation, just in a different way, and I shot Julia a dumb glare under my heavy lids.
She held up a palm in surrender, leaning on the table to sigh heavily. “You know I’d perform an abortion for you, Katie. It went unsaid, but you know I would. Why not consider that and try to reconstruct your life without him? The only instance that removes all potential is death, and you’re going about things like you’ve already lost all hope... but you just told Brandon you want him to move on. Seems a little hypocritical of you not to at least attempt the same.”
“I can’t do this again, Julia.”
The door flung open on the other side of the room, and Nathan frowned at me as déjà vu hit me hard. My heart squeezed, and I frowned under furrowed brows as he walked over to the fridge silently.
“I can’t pick up the pieces of my life and try to duct tape them together again. I can’t trust anyone to come save me. I can’t trust Brandon to work through these issues, his and ours. Mostly, I think... I don’t trust myself to believe him anymore. The person he loves is fake and died when I got shot.”
“I think you’re lying. I think the person he loves is who you want to be... who youwouldbe if things didn’t unravel. You’re not a heartless person, Katie. It may take your whole life, but I think you’re underestimating Brandon’s devotion—nothis love, hisdevotion.”
Julia made sense, of course, and I busied myself with eating as Nathan walked over with a large container of yogurt and a spoon.
“I guess, there’s no telling what the future may hold until it’s here. So, what’s the plan between now and tomorrow morning?” Julia asked.
“... I’m thinking that Bert might try to contact us under Mason’s orders and relay demands.” My brows sank lower on my face as I contemplated what his moves might be.
Nathan grunted in agreement as he popped open his yogurt.
“If Audra plays her part right, he’ll try to avoid stretching this out. The longer it goes on, the worse his odds are.”
“What do you think he’ll want? A helicopter and not to be followed?” Julia asked.
I rolled my eyes at that, and Nathan chuffed a little as he shook his head, twirling his spoon between his fingers.
“We know he’ll want you.”
