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I’m surprised at her question, butting into my private life like that. “I don’t know. Maybe. I just really liked him. I wanted to talk to him all the time.
“Well, that’s all well and good, dear. But sometimes, we can suffocate the people we care about if we don’t give them space. Within reason, of course. You shouldn’t be scared to show someone that you care about them.”
“Yeah, I guess. It’s too late now, anyway,” I tell her as I’m finishing her makeup.
“Why is that?”
I frown at her. “Isn’t it obvious? He thought I was too annoying. I told you.”
“No, you didn’t tell me that,” she protests. “You told me that he liked you, but that you moved at different speeds. That sort of thing can be remedied. Have you seen him since the breakup?”
“We had coffee a little while back.”
“That’s good. What did you talk about?”
I can’t possibly tell her about the pictures I post online; she wouldn’t understand. “He was just worried about me. About some choices I’ve made. But that’s none of his business, anyway.”
“It seems like you hold a lot of resentment toward him,” Mrs. Johnson speculates. “Why is that?”
“Well, he broke up with me. Of course, I’m resentful.”
“But it sounds like he cares about you, still. That’s a good foundation to build on. You obviously still care about him, deep down.”
“I just want to show him that I’m just as good as him,” I say without really meaning to.
“Of course, you’re as good as him. Why wouldn’t you be? But if you want any chance of the two of you getting back together, maybe it’s time to let go of some of that resentment. If you think you can.”
“Who said I want to get back together with him?”
“It’s written all over your face, dear Sophie,” Mrs. Johnson says with a teasing grin. “Don’t think you can trick me. I’ve lived a long time. I know when people are fooling themselves.”
“Can we talk about something else, please?”
She grins even wider, but she lets me move on. We talk a little bit about everything and nothing until I have to move on to the next resident. Mrs. Johnson’s words echo through my brain as I go about my work. Maybe Ihavebeen resentful. I’ve acted crazy with this whole situation, that’s for sure. I’m not sure if I would want to get back together with Tanner. I just know that I can’t keep going like this anymore. I have to let him and my stupid follower stunt go. Or I have to fight for what I want.
I have to fight forwhoI want.
That Friday,Allie comes up to me after our shift.
“Hey, do you want to grab a drink or something tonight? Might be fun to hang out outside of work for once.”
I was planning on just having a quiet night in, but it actually sounds kind of fun to go out with her instead. “Okay,” I agree. “I’d like that.”
“Let’s meet up by the bar later then. I just want to go home and take a shower first.”
“Sure. I’ll meet you around eight?”
Allie nods. “Sounds good.”
I pull on a new pair of jeans and a pretty light-green top that sits nicely on my body. I leave my hair wavy and do a subtle cat eye with plenty of mascara. It’s simple, but I feel pretty. I feel strong. I decide to walk down to the bar where we are meeting up, leaving my car at home. I need the fresh air.
Allie is already waiting outside the bar, her blond hair up in a high ponytail. She looks really good in her floral shirt and tight jeans, and she waves at me as I come closer with a big smile on her face.
“This is going to be so much fun!” she cheers and pulls me in for a hug. “I haven’t been out in ages.”
“Me, neither,” I admit, and I realize that I can’t even remember the last time I went out with a girlfriend.
The bar is pretty packed since it’s one of the few places where you can go out in this town, but we manage to find a table. We get our drinks and sit down.
