AllFreeNovel
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“Okay, good. I posted some pictures of myself on there, and he saw them. He thought I had changed into someone I’m not.”
“Are they lewd pictures?”
“Well,” I hesitate for a second, “they’re not lewd, exactly. Just… suggestive. Yes. Let’s go with suggestive.”
“How exciting!” She claps her hands together. “And he had a problem with that?”
“Not a problem. He just didn’t think it was like me. He thought I had become someone else.”
“And so, what if you had? We all change throughout the course of our life. That is a good thing.”
I consider her words. I suppose she’s right, but I didn’t really post those pictures for the right reasons. I knew they would do well, so I kept going. I enjoyed posting on my page, but I was just as excited about that first photo of me on my couch. The one where I set up all the fairy lights and really created something. I liked the process of it, the creativity. And while it was fun getting validation from strangers for a while, I’m very much over it by now. I don’t want to keep posting the way I’ve been doing. I want to change direction. Go back to what I actually find fun.
When I go on my break, I pull my phone out of my locker. There’s no one else in the staff room, so I pull up my profile. I see the number that tells me the number of followers I have. How many of those are even real? Out of the tens of thousands, maybe only a couple hundred are actual people.
I scroll through my pictures, reading the comments underneath them. I see DonnieWylde93, and a bit later, I see Sam’s name, too. When I go through my DMs, I just open a few before I delete them all. I don’t want to read what all these strangers have to say about me.
I go back to my profile, and I am struck with a thought. I should just delete it all. The whole page. Can I really do that? For a second, all the money I’ve spent on this account stops me. But then I shake my head. I can’t get that money back anyway. But I can move forward from this strange period of my life.
I go to my settings and find thedelete accountoption at the very bottom, the letters standing out to me in red. I swallow, hovering with my thumb over it for several minutes.
I only have five minutes left on my break when I finally decide to do it. I pressdelete account, and then I confirm thatI actually want to do it. It takes a few seconds, and then it’s all gone. Just like that.
I let out a breath. That wasn’t so bad. It was actually pretty liberating. I will probably create a different account later, but it’s only going to be for fun. I don’t need all that anymore. The followers, the likes, the comments. I have a job I love, and I’ve made a friend in Allie. I have Tanner. For the first time in a long time, maybe ever, it feels like I have direction in my life. Like I have purpose. Things are good.
Things are really, really good.
I wakeup to a soft kiss on my lips. Tanner is smiling at me, and he’s wearing a Santa hat.Onlya Santa hat. I prop myself up on my elbows and look at him, laughing.
“Why the hell are you wearing that?”
“To get in the holiday spirit!” he sings. “It’s Christmas morning!”
Oh, that’s right. I haven’t really thought about Christmas much this year. Too much else has been going on. I also need to remember to call my mother later. Tanner pulls me down for another kiss.
“Merry Christmas.”
I smile against his lips. “Merry Christmas.”
“I made you breakfast,” he tells me. I look him up and down.
“Naked?”
“I wore an apron, obviously. It was all very sexy. Too bad you missed it.”
“I bet it was.” I sit up fully and stretch with a yawn. “Let’s have some breakfast then.”
“Wait here,” he says and springs out of bed. His bare butt goes really well with the hat, I must say. Tanner returns a moment later, carrying a tray of toast and some coffee, and there are some gingerbread cookies on the side. “There you go!” he cheers and places the tray on my lap. “There’s cinnamon in the coffee.”
“You’re so sweet,” I whisper to him as I’m nibbling on one of the gingerbread cookies. “Aren’t you eating?”
“I’ll steal some of your toast.”
I snag the tray from him. “Oh, no you don’t. This ismyfood.”
He laughs. “Of course, how silly of me. Sophie Leigh doesn’t share food.”
“You can have one of the gingerbread cookies.” I offer, and he takes it from me.
