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Again, I can’t help but ask myself.
What the hell am I going to do?
9
GISELLE
Eliza and I are hanging out again. Today, we are shopping for Christmaspresents—I’m getting stuff for my family, and she’s getting stuff for hers.
We are in this cute part of LA where every single store for blocks has completely changed their inventory to only Christmas-themed things, like decorations, red and green pajama outfits for the whole family, and all the top choices on everybody’s Christmas lists.
The weather outside is an almost chilly sixty-nine degrees, the sun is shining brilliantly, and Eliza and I look stylish as ever while our bodyguards clear the stores before we enter so that we can shop in private.
I made sure that Lonnie and Bryan explained to the store workers that we promise to spend a lot of money so that they don’t feel bad for kicking everyone else out. Neither of us really feel like giving out autographs to fans today.
Sometimes I prefer to walk around in a disguise, so I’m less recognized, and I make my bodyguard look like my boyfriend or friend, but being around Eliza, I want to look my best. I want her to be attracted to me and regret telling me that she never meant to kiss me.
“Did I tell you?” I ask her as we browse the aisles of Christmas ornaments in one shop.
Eliza is holding a Snoopy-themed ornament and smiling to herself. “Tell me what?”
I don’t look at her when I say it. “I’ve been thinking of heading home for the holiday. My family has been dying to see me, and if I don’t, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Naturally, I’m hoping this makes her sad. I’m hoping she gets jealous that I’m going to be with my family instead of with her and Shawn.
I hope she asks me to stay.
Instead, she turns her body toward me and beams at me. “I think that’s a lovely idea. At least your parentswantto spend time with their children.”
I know that’s a dig at Shawn, and that she is still feeling bitter that for yet another holiday, Shawn is insisting that his kids don’t pay him a visit.
I grab Eliza’s shoulder and give it a squeeze. “Maybe he will come around?” I try. “There’s still time, you know.” Christmas isn’t for another week.
“I know, but I just don’t have any kids of my own to spoil. And it wouldn’t be the same just shipping off some presents to them and not getting to see their reaction.” Eliza sighs, putting the Snoopy ornament in her little shopping basket and continuing down the aisle. My bodyguards, Lonnie and Bryan, are hanging out by the front door, while her bodyguard, Victor, is browsing the store himself.
I have no idea what it’s like to be in Eliza’s shoes, and I can’t even fathom the idea of having stepchildren. In fact, I’m not sure if kids have ever been in my cards. So, not knowing how to reply to her, I shrug and keep browsing the store. I still have yet to find the perfect gift.
Eliza trails along behind me, stopping every so often to look at another ornament. She has been really sad lately about everything with her husband, but today is the first time I’ve gotten genuine smiles out of her.
“So, will you be bringing Steve with you, then?” Eliza asks me. This makes me stop moving. She wants to know about Steve? Why would she care?
I turn around to her and give her a bright smile. “I think so! If I can convince him, that is.”
“Does Steve really need convincing?”
Shedoeshave a point; Steve is incredibly in love with me. I’m pretty sure he would do anything I asked of him. Well… almost anything.
I shrug. “Probably not. You’re right. He’s just nervous meeting my family for the first time, that’s all. I’ve never brought a guy home before. So, I’m kind of nervous, too.”
“Steve is a wonderful guy. I’m really glad I introduced you two,” Eliza tells me. I sense something else behind her words, something insincere and bitter. But maybe I’m just crazy.
“Yeah. Thank you,” I say as we move to the next aisle. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you and Shawn about him. I just didn’t know if it was going to work out, and I didn’t want to get your hopes up. I know how much you would love for me to end up with a guy like him, right?” I look over my shoulder to peek back at her, and I find that her lips are pursed and her eyes are squinted.
So, I stop browsing again and turn to her. “What?” I ask, my heart skipping a beat. Doesn’t she like Steve? Doesn’t she want me to be with somebody? Doesn’t she want me to be happy?
Eliza is silent for a long while, pondering something deeply. But then she waves her hand in front of my face and finally looks at me. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, Giselle.”
“Look at you like what?”
