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I only had because I lived here.
I saw my mom crying. I saw my dad locked up in his office and burying himself in his work. I saw them both distract themselves and the harmony of this house decimate. Again, it was something they didn’t want me to see, but of course, I saw it. I was the source of it. I was that angry kid whose parents had to worry about him.Iwas the fucking basket case they had to watch. My parentsliterallyhad to keep tabs on me.
Because if they didn’t…
I wouldn’t be that source of worry for my parents again, refused. I had to nut the hell up and be a man, and I would for my family. I wouldn’t be the weak link this time.
Me:One sec. I’ll come to get you.
Bru:No, you don’t need to. I’m almost home. Sloane says she’s out with Mom and Dad. She said you stayed home.
Me:Yeah, I did, but why didn’t you call any of us? To come get you?
Bru:Wasn’t a big deal. Took the bus.
He took… the bus?
I shook my head. Bruno Sloane-Mallick and his independent shit. Like me, he didn’t like to be a bother and my little brother had obviously spent a little too much time overseas. He went to school in a small country off the coast of Europe, and some of the pictures he sent had double-decker buses like in London.
It seemed the kid was acclimating to his environment well, but I couldn’t help but be dragged back to unhelpful thoughts at the mention of a bus. I’d obviously had some experience with that in recent months considering everything with Fawn.
Don’t do that. Don’t go there…
Because if I did, I knew exactly what would happen. I was already fighting stability, and if I allowed my rogue thoughts to go to Fawn Greenfield and everything I forced on the regular to leave behind regarding her, I would hit that dark place. I’d break and I…
Bru:Is it just you there?
Get out of your head. Get out…
I realized now I was gripping into my hair. I had my hoodie half on, acting all weak and shit.
Bru:Dorian or the other guys?
I took a breath.
Me:Just me. Why?
Bru:I’m almost home. Be in soon.
Our texts came in about the same time, and instead of berating my kid brother for not waiting at the airport again, I took the seconds to get my shit together. Since I had been through all this before, I breathed it out. I actually managed not to look like a head case by the time I hit the stairs.
Voices drifted inside when I arrived at the bottom. It was more than one, which confused me, but I noticed Bru’s phone in his hand when he eased inside. He didn’t look like he was talking on it, but he might have had someone on speakerphone.
I picked up my pace. “Kid, why didn’t you wait for me at the airport—”
His head lifted the same time I caught another coming in behind him. A ghost of sweet scent hit the air right after.
A flash of red hair…
Both hit me like a brick fucking wall, a girl following my brother. She eased inside my house too, and the moment we locked eyes, my entire body went ramrod straight. My lungs ceased to function. Like I’d been bucked in the chest by a fucking bronco and the impact collapsed a lung.
I had to say, she looked the same. Her face instantly took that sweet flush that blended into all those fucking freckles. She wore no makeup today, and every single one of those freckles exposed. On her flushed cheeks…
Her lips.
Blinking, it took a second for my thoughts to catch up. Because if they had, my firsts wouldn’t have been taking inventory over the entire length of her and how it felt to see her somewhere besides her classrooms or from across campus. I’d seen her more than once since things had ended. Though, she’d never know that.
I’d made sure.
