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“Why did this happen?” Tears poured down Rhys’s cheeks. I should be sobbing, but I only felt cold and numb. My grief was too deep for tears.
“Because of Franco,” TJ said. “And because… Fuck, I should never have stayed here.”
Grant shook his head. “It’s not your fault any more than it’s Ghost’s. The man responsible is dead, and Rogue is going to live.”
He was wrong. It was my fault. I might have found the courage to say so, but sirens wailed as an ambulance raced up the driveway.
It was clear Rhys wasn’t going to be separated from his brother, and even if it was possible, Grant wasn’t going to let me stay with Rogue. I was surprised when he insisted I get in his truck with the rest of them.
Rhys broke down completely when Rogue was rushed into surgery. His sobs echoed the emptiness I felt inside. He was shaking hard, probably in shock. I might be in shock too, but taking care of Rhys was something to do, and it was what Rogue would want.
I asked a nurse for a blanket, brought it over, and draped it around his shoulders. Then I found a seat in the corner of the waiting room. I would be there if the others needed me, but I couldn’t talk to them. I could barely breathe. I wanted to run. I wanted to be far away by myself, but I wasn’t leaving until I knew Rogue was going to be okay.
Please, God. He has to be okay.
Every minute that passed felt like an hour, but finally, the doctor who’d been with Rogue when he was taken to the OR came out.
My heart pounded as I moved close enough to hear what he had to say. The bullet had hit a rib, and a bone splinter had punctured his lung, but he was expected to make a full recovery.
He’s going to be okay. He’s going to be okay. If I stopped repeating that to myself, I might collapse.
Rhys went to be with Rogue in the recovery room, and I knew it would be a while before the rest of us could see him. It would probably be best if I left.
You love this man, but you’re going to run away?
If this is what happens when I try to be with him, then yes.
It’s going to hurt him more for you to leave.
He’ll be alive. That’s what matters.
What are the chances of this happening again?
In my life? Pretty high.
Don’t leave.
I didn’t know how to do anything else. There was no way I could stay there now, not when there was a chance Rogue could pull something like this again. I didn’t deserve that level of devotion, but I did need to see him one last time. I needed to see with my own eyes that he was alive and going to be okay.
While everyone else was talking, I slipped out of the waiting room and headed for the information desk. I used my badge to get the information I needed, and I was waiting when they took Rogue from recovery to a room.
I came into Rogue’s room while a nurse was still getting him situated.
“Rogue?”
He blinked, then focused on me. I was so happy to see him conscious again.
“Ghost?”
“No, he’s real,” the nurse said.
I smiled. “It’s my nickname.”
“Oh, gotcha. It’s not unusual for patients to be a bit out of it at this point in recovery. He’s on some pretty serious painkillers, so he may not remember seeing you or your conversation.”
That might be for the best. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Rogue lifted the hand that didn’t have an IV line, and I took it in mine. He was much too cold. I rubbed his hand, trying to warm it up. “You shouldn’t have taken that bullet. It was for me.”
“Had to. Can’t let you die.”
“I can’t let you die either. I need you safe. I need you to take care of yourself.”
Rogue smiled as his eyes fluttered closed. I could tell he was exhausted. His body had a lot of work to do to repair itself, but he was alive, and I knew in my heart he would stay that way. “Goodbye, Rogue.”
He murmured something that might’ve been goodbye, but I doubted that he realized I was leaving, really leaving, but it was best that way. He didn’t need anything upsetting him right now.
When I reached the door of his room, I couldn’t stop myself from looking back one last time. Rogue had already fallen asleep again. He was so pale, and he looked much too small in the hospital bed. No matter what he thought, I’d never considered him fragile, but he looked that way now…
I wanted to stay and take care of him, but he was there, in that bed, because of me. I’d failed to protect him, and he’d… Bile rose in my throat at the thought of him sacrificing himself for me. I couldn’t stay, no matter how much I longed to. I couldn’t risk him dying because of me.
