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“I love you.”
Once I’d said the words, I slipped out, closed the door behind me, and made myself disappear.
30
ROGUE
I heard my room door open. Rhys, Grant, Jacob, and TJ entered. Had they been there before or just Ghost? Had I fallen asleep? “Where’s Ghost?”
“We’re not sure,” Jacob said. “He probably went to get a snack. Maybe he got turned around.”
Ghost didn’t get lost. He always knew exactly where he was. “Didn’t you see him in the hallway?”
Rhys looked confused. “Are you saying he was here?”
“He came in to see me right after they wheeled me into the room. I figured he must’ve been following me.”
“And he just left?” Rhys asked
“Yeah.” It couldn’t have been long, the nurse was still in the room, and no way would Rhys have waited to come see me once he could.
Grant opened the door. “Let me see if I can find him.”
I knew he wasn’t going to. My memory of Ghost talking to me was fuzzy, but he’d sounded sad, and he’d told me goodbye. My gut told me he was long gone, and he wasn’t coming back.
I went through the next few days in a painkiller-induced haze. My brothers, Jacob, and TJ took turns visiting, but even when I was awake, I barely spoke. I didn’t want to do anything but sleep. Ghost never came back. I’d known he wouldn’t. The bullet I’d jumped in front of had shattered what we had.
Finally, there came a day when I had to wake up and face reality. No way in hell was Rhys going to let me just lie there forever. My physical wounds had healed enough that the doctors thought I’d be able to leave the next day.
I woke to Grant and Rhys arguing. Rhys had been spending most nights with me. He’d held my hand while I’d cried, and he’d promised me I was going to be fine. I knew a storm was coming once he deemed me well enough. I felt his anger under the surface, even when I was barely conscious. He was furious that I’d tried to protect Ghost, but I had no doubt he would do the same for TJ.
Rhys eventually gave in to Grant’s demand that he go home. TJ told him to eat a decent meal and get some sleep, but I bet he’d head right to the barn when he got there. I knew he was missing the horses. Jacob or TJ would bring him some food. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but if he knew I was awake, he’d try to stay.
I opened my eyes after he’d closed the door behind him.
“How are you feeling today?” Grant asked.
“Fine.”
He raised his brows.
“I feel like shit, okay? But the pain isn’t bad now. I’m going to mend.”
“But are you going to be yourself again?”
“My irritating irresponsible self that drives you crazy?”
“Yes.” The pain in his eyes made my chest tighten. “I wish I’d sent Ghost packing the moment he appeared at the ranch.”
“I don’t.”
Grant shook his head. “I told him to leave you alone.”
“Grant, I make my own decisions about who I see.”
“You always have.”
“Yeah, and some of them have sucked a lot worse than this.” Shit. I was going to cry. I didn’t want to cry in front of Grant. “He’s really gone, isn’t he?”
Grant sighed. “I think so.”
“I’ve texted him, but he hasn’t responded.”
“He doesn’t respond to me either. I called X to see if I could reach him that way.”
My eyes widened as I stared at my brother. “You did?”
“I’m not a fucking monster. You obviously care about him, and if him coming back would make you heal faster, then I intended to drag him right back here.”
“What did X say?”
“That Ghost was unreachable. He’s on some black-ops mission or some shit.”
I shook my head. “He’s fucking hiding from me.”
“Probably.”
Someone knocked. “Yes?”
“It’s Jacob.”
“Get in here,” Grant said.
Jacob glared at his man. “I was being polite by knocking.”
Grant just snorted.
I smiled at Jacob. “I appreciate it.”
“You ready to get out of here?”
The day before, I would have said it didn’t matter, but today I realized how much I wanted to get back to the ranch. I was sure it would be a long time before anyone would let me ride Mischief, but at least I could see her, brush her, cry into her mane.
I looked at Grant. “Did X tell you when Ghost would be back from this theoretical op?”
“No, but… It would be best if you just tried to forget him.”
“Right, like I can just do that.”
“You only knew him—”
“How long did you know Jacob?”
Jacob gave him a pointed look.
“Fine, but disappearing is what Ghost does. That’s why I didn’t want you getting involved with him in the first place.”
Jacob laid a hand on Grant’s arm. “That’s not helping.”
“Ghost is scared,” I said.
