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And yet, he never had our father’s cruelty.
Now, seeing him under the Shadow King’s control, it all feels hopeless. This war. This life.Everything.But I would rather die than let anyone see that weakness inside of me, those tears in my soul, and the worry that constantly flows in my veins. So, I try to hide that now too. I try to just listen and not reflect on all my fears and all the things I’ve lost, no matter how hard it is.
The elder coughs and more blood erupts from his lips. Droplets dot the shirt Ann is wearing and decorate his already destroyed clothes. She ignores it, but I concentrate on one of the little red spots because I need a minute to pull myself together. To focus on this moment and not the crushing weight of guilt and pain that I can’t seem to rid from my shoulders.
His voice comes out soft but strong. “Only the father can remove the shard from the shadow beast’s heart. That is the only way to get Phantom back. To win this war.”
There are words I could say to express the anger his words bring, but I don’t want anyone to know the depths of that anger. Because if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that we’ll never get my father to remove that shard. And if that’s the only way, Phantom is lost to us.
Ann speaks, sounding heartbroken, saying what we’re all thinking. “There’s no way the king is going to–”
“No.” There’s force, stronger than the elder’s last speech, but not much above a whisper. He’s waning. Time grows short now. “The ghost man”–he means Rayne– “can enter the king’s body, take control, and remove the shard.”
My stomach flips. Does that mean Rayne would be trapped inside the king’s bodywith the king?Because the only reason Rayne seems to be able to survive in Adrik after dying is because the warrior's soul had already left his body. In this case, the king would still be in his body, fighting for control, and Rayne would lose the safety of Adrik’s empty body.
This plan sounds dangerous at best. At worst, an exchange of one life for another.
As if knowing my thoughts, Ann whispers, “If he does this, is Rayne going to be… will he survive?” For all her strength, the thought of losing Rayne is enough to make her falter, to put a crack in her voice, to make her blanch.
On a shaky exhale, he says, “I don’t know butallwill die if Phantom isn’t freed.” The elder’s voice is less now than even a whisper, but it isn’t really necessary. His message is clear enough. He isn’t talking about only shadow beasts. He’s talking about all the earth’s inhabitants.
He closes his eyes and draws his last breath, leaving us with one more body to bury, and one more impossible task on our shoulders.
THREE
Ann
Dusk stands with a handful of dirt in his hand, looking like a lost little boy. My chest aches at the sight of him.How much more can he lose before it’s too much?He’s breathing hard, and I know it’s not just from the work. He’s just barely keeping it together right now, and I don’t blame him for it. His handsome face is streaked with dirt, and his long, dark hair is tangled around his face. He’s absolutely filthy, as are Rayne and Onyx.
But then, grave digging isn’t clean work.
All of us stare at Dusk as he scatters the handful of dirt on the top of the freshly covered grave. “May you rest in peace with the goddess.”
Onyx works silently to put the final touch on the grave before coming to stand with the rest of us. Next to me, he threads his fingers through mine, and our gazes catch and hold. Those dark eyes of his say a million things. That this is too much. That we can’t keep going this way much longer. But then he squeezes my hand and looks away as he releases me, almost like he doesn’t want me to see the secrets he tries so hard to hide.
And then a strange silence washes over us.
The elder’s grave is marked by a stone with his full name on it, the marking Onyx had put into place. It sits in the center of a plot of about thirty others graves–shadow beasts who have fallen for one reason or another.
It’s gut wrenching to see the graves stretching out all around us. So few of the shadow beasts were able to escape through the Void to earth before the shadow king took control of them… only to come here and lose their lives instead. Seeing how many of them died in their fight to protect earth from the same fate as their world makes my eyes fill with tears.
Every one of these men are heroes. Including the older man who went through so much just to give us a way to save our world and our people. Even if what he told us horrified me.
“He was a good man,” Rayne says quietly. He doesn’t know the customs of the shadow beasts, but he needs to say something, just like me.
“He was always kind to me,” I add on, signing the best I can as I do so, then look at Dusk and Onyx, wondering if what we’re saying is okay.
Onyx signs, and Dusk says his words aloud. “He was a hero in this life. And he will be a hero in the next.”
They both bow their heads, so Rayne and I do too. Then, after a moment, they stand taller, staring out around themselves. Onyx looks defeated, but Dusk looks on the edge of losing all control. I don’t blame them. I didn’t know all these people, and I feel crushed looking at the depressing sight before me. What they’re feeling… it’s unimaginable.
Yes, I’d lost Rayne, at least for a while, and had never thought a pain could be worse. But pain is not a competition. It’s different for every person, as is grief. And they’re definitely in pain and grieving right now.
Beside me, Dusk’s shoulders start to tremble. “We can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep burying people.” He shakes his head, but he’s signing for Onyx as he takes a shuddering breath and continues. “We’re all going to end up dead, so what’s the point?”
The sky is darkening, casting everything in grey as evening approaches. There isn’t even the brightness of a sunset to chase away the sadness of this moment.
So, I try to be that light for them. “As my father used to say, life is a series of valleys and hills. Right now we’re in a valley, but one day we’ll be at the top of the hill and things will be better.”
