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“He changed after she died.” Phantom says the words while signing them. “But I never thought he was evil until that day.”
I nod. We all know the day. And it didn’t happen until after their mother died. Years had passed, with me watching their father slowly creeping toward something dark and terrible. Years of the shadow beasts eying the king and wondering if he'd lost his marbles when he’d lost his mate. In the days leading up to their father's attack and theft of the moon from the sky, I'd been watching and listening, knowing something was wrong. But Phantom and Dusk had been so sure that this too would pass. That their father would find a way to come out the other side of her loss.
They were wrong. And yet, they'd more than paid for their mistake.
"You believed in him," I sign to them. "You believe in everyone you love. It's something I envy about you."
Phantom gives me a sad nod. He knows that I don't have the same faith in people. No matter how hard I've tried to see the good in the world, it's just not there, not the way it has always been for Dusk and him.
"I want to believe inhertoo," Phantom signs more slowly.
I can't help myself; I sign back. "Me too." Because I do want to believe in Ann and our connection, I just can't.
We spend a while longer looking for more shards without luck, then head back to the cave. Usually this is the point in our scouting that we get faster, that there's a little pep in our step. Some excitement for a warm bed, a warm meal, and a place to rest. But there's no pep in our step now; we're like men marching off to our deaths... or our mate who doesn't want us. It feels the same.
She’s lying on my bedroll andhe’sacross from her on the ground. They aren’t touching and I don’t know why that makes me happy. The three of us find stew cooking over the fire. It's not good, but we eat as much as we can in silence. Then, instead of waking her to put her on her own bedroll, I move to the wall and sit back against it. It isn't comfortable, but after all these years I can sleep just about anywhere. In fact, the cave wall is a vast improvement over a cage.
My brothers give me a look, then lie down on their own bedrolls. I know they probably want me to lay with her, to stake our claim in some way and make it clear to both Rayne and Ann that she's ours, but I can’t be by her, and I don’t want to wake her to face more sad looks. Away is better. If I touched her, smelled her, I would forget all about the fact that she doesn't want me, and then be heartbroken again in the morning.
I haveno idea how much time has passed when I startle awake. My gaze snaps to the entrance to the cave where the sun bathes the entrance in a soft morning light. Then, I look for Ann, but she’s gone. I'm wide awake in an instant, searching for her. But not only is she gone, so are the others. I spring away from the cave wall, ignoring the stiffness in my back and neck, and rush toward the cave entrance, heart in my throat.
Outside Rayne is standing, holding court with Phantom and Dusk. And since none of them look panicked, I instantly calm. Taking a few deep breaths, I walk over, trying to hide the fact that a minute ago I was ready to go running through the woods like a crazy person, searching for a woman who doesn't want me. But seeing them all glaring at each other after just waking up isn't a massive improvement.
I guess I have to be ready for tonight's shit show.
“She’s upset.” Rayne's words are easy to read on his lips, punctuated by a gesture at the doorway. And he’s directing his words and gestures at me.
Dusk signs to me, “She thought you would sleep beside her and when you didn’t…” He shrugs and I fill in the blanks.
Rayne glares at me. “She’s drawn to each of you and your anger hurts her.”
Hurts her?To my surprise, Rayne seems entirely sincere. And I see it in his face: her pain is his pain. Like... a mate.
It feels as if a blade is twisting in my chest. This man seems like an enemy in every way. I don't want us to have anything in common. I don't want to see that he cares for my mate like I care for her. Part of me wants to turn with my trademark sulk and run from this problem, but I linger. Not interrupting, because he’s not what I expected and I’m not quite sure what to do with that.
"We're dealing with our own hurt," Phantom says.
Rayne crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Understood, but we need to move past that."
Easy for him to say.
But Dusk's mouth pulls into a thin line, and he signs, while his lips are moving, "Agreed. There are other things to talk about since there doesn't seem to be an answer for our situation."
Phantom nods, and I can tell he doesn't want to linger on this conversation anymore. “Tell us about her light. About yours.”
For a few long seconds, Rayne looks uncertain, like he really doesn't want to answer Phantom’s question. But, finally, he speaks. “I don’t feel the power of the fae anymore.” He shakes his head. “I used to feel it here.” He thumps his chest with his fingertips, probably for my benefit, but his lips are easy to read.
“What about her? Where did that beam of light come from?” Dusk asks the question we’ve all wanted to ask.
"I don't know, and I don't think she knows either," Rayne says, but he speaks slowly enough that I'm able to read each word.
I sign, "That didn't come out of nowhere."
Phantom repeats my words for Rayne, and I'm a little surprised to see Rayne watching the way his hands move while he speaks, as if he's trying to learn to sign as well.
Rayne faces me again, very clearly speaking his words so as to not leave me out of the conversation. Something that many of the shadow beasts here still don't do. “Her mother was a fae but her father was human, so Ann’s never been particularly powerful.” He shakes his head. “At all, actually. So that light that exploded from inside her is… more than unexpected. Probably even by her.”
"She was raised by a human?" Dusk asks, looking as surprised as I feel. Ann never told us that. But then, we haven't asked her a lot about herself. Something we should correct if we want to grow closer to her.
