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I can hardly feel her tugging on me as I stare at her ripped pajamas, hanging from her chest.
It all stays red until the scream from behind me forces me to realize there’s someone else here. Someone other than Allie. Allie’s weeping on the ground, her hands covered in blood as she crouches on the ground and then looks up at me with fear and sorrow swirling in her eyes and it takes another scream before I turn around to face the front door and see who’s screaming.
Someone who would bear witness to what I’d done.
Someone who heard the screaming and came in through the front door.
Someone who saw Kevin’s dead body at my feet.
Allie’s neighbor from earlier, is screaming in the doorway behind me.
ALLISON
No. I take it back.
I take it all back.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
“Dean, stop!” I try to scream at him but my voice is hoarse, the pain ripping my throat as I topple over. The bleeding won’t stop. I keep pushing against Kevin’s throat with my trembling hands as if I can stop the flow. But it won’t.
It’s too late.
I know it is but I can’t stop trying.
I can barely breathe as my shaking hands move away from the limp body. He’s still warm but blood isn’t pumping from the wound anymore. It’s hardly a trickle.
“Are you okay?” I hear Dean ask over the sound of a shrill scream.
It takes me a moment to realize he’s trying to pick me up and move me, but I can’t move. I can’t be touched. I only catch a glimpse of a woman’s back from the doorway.
My heart races and my body chills.
“Dean,” I say.What did I do?
It happened so fast. Too fast to control. Too many moving parts to see what would come next.
I didn’t mean for this to happen. I try to blink away the vision. The memory. As the feeling of Kevin pushing me down comes back to me and I could vomit from it. I shove against Dean’s chest. My body reacts reflexively, trying to protect me.
“It’s me,” he says as I wrap my arms around my shoulders and try to get away.
I’m numb and shaking.
“It’s me. It’s okay. It’s okay.” Dean keeps speaking lies.
It’s not okay.
It’s never been worse.
Kevin’s body is at an odd angle on the floor and as I try to back away, Dean’s boot hits Kevin’s leg. And it moves easily, lifeless.
I didn’t mean for him to die.
It’s all I can think. I swear. I wanted the world to know who he was and what he was capable of.
I wanted him to pay for what he did to Sam.
But I never intended this.
