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Papa chuckles. “That’s fine, girlie. I want you to have a good time with your friends.”
I check the time on my phone. “I should get going.”
“Okay. I think your date’s here.”
“Date?”
“A fine strapping lad.” Papa stands up and shuffles to the door. When he opens it, there stands Jackson. My mouth falls open, and my eyelashes flutter.
He looks so handsome—his beard neatly trimmed, his black-wired-rimmed glasses. He’s wearing a black suit over a white shirt, holding flowers. Tulips, my favorite. I could cry, he’s so attractive.
I’ve done my best to forget him, but whenever I catch a glimpse of him, everything stops.
I heard he started therapy, and I suspected that he finally saw his in-laws because the pastor gave a cryptic sermon at church the day I happened to go with Papa. I also thought Pastor Williams looked straight at me and gave a smile, but I shook it off. Coincidence.
Papa checks his bare wrist and says, “Oh man,Jeopardy!is on. I’m going to catch it in the other room.”
There’s no TV in the other room.
He shuffles off, and we smile awkwardly at each other.
“Hi,” I say.
“Hey.” Jackson hands me the flowers. I bury my nose into the flowers, inhaling his scent.
“You look great. Mandy Moore?”
I pick up some of my handmade skirt and swish from side to side. “I had to.”
We stand quietly, and I know he can hear my heart because it’s in my ears, beating so loudly at his presence. I don’t know what to do so I turn and walk to the kitchen and find our one vase, dusty and abandoned on the top shelf. I can’t reach it without jumping onto the counter, so Jackson uses his height to get it down.
Our hands brush, and I flinch.
Is this the moment he told me to wait for? Everything I’ve rehearsed is gone like the wind. My brain can’t form a coherent thought about him.
“So,” I say after I put the flowers in water.
“So.” Jackson shoves his hands in his pockets. “I want to apologize.”
I force myself to look at him, give him my attention. I nod once, and he continues.
“I wasn’t ready for you when I met you. I do think I would’ve lived my life like that for the rest of my life if you didn’t come into it. I was barely functioning when you came into my office that day. Shiloh, you brought me back to life.”
My heart flutters.Don’t cry, I tell myself.You can cry later, alone.
“I didn’t want to say this until I could come to you as a whole man. I feel like it’s time now. I’m so sorry this is late, Shiloh, but I love you. I love you so much.”
Okay, now I’m crying. My lip quivers, and I can’t stop it. I wipe my cheek, but tears are rolling.
“Amy might’ve been the first one I fell in love with, but I want you to be my last. You’re my best friend. There’s been a Shiloh-shaped hole in my life, but I needed to become the man you deserved. A man who really, really wants to take you on a date tonight. Finally.”
The butterflies in my stomach are manic, my heart pounding. I tuck my hands tightly around me because if I don’t, I will flail my arms. I’ve been dreaming of this.
I know it was Amy who visited me before my first day. I knew to never give up hope. A small part of me knew that he would come back to me.
Holding up one finger, though, I want to make him sweat. He made me wait four months; I can make him wait a little bit.
“Jackson, this is a lot to process,” I say.
