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Oh, my. The glass I’m holding is lifted out of my hands and set on the coffee table. Then Des picks me up and sits me on his lap, one arm across my thighs, the other hand tangled into my hair.
Kissing this man is like coming home. Having him here all evening—watching him interact with my daughter—has made my heart overflow. I touch his jaw, deepening our kiss, trying to convey all the things I feel for him.
We could have a life together.
His hand sweeps over my cheek and down to my neck while his lips devastate me. I melt into his chest, clinging to his shoulders like he’s the only thing tethering me to earth.
When we pull apart, my heart is tattooing a rapid beat against its cage. For the first time in a long, long time, I feel the desire to open up to someone else. I want to let him in.
“What?” he asks softly, touching his nose to mine. “You look like you want to say something.”
“How do you do that?” I half-laugh, shaking my head.
“Do what?”
“Read my mind.”
“It’s written right there on your face, Mia.” His hand coasts down to my hip, squeezing gently. The other is across my thighs, its thumb sweeping gently against my pants. I love the way he touches me. It’s intimate and casual all at once. It feels like I belong here, like this.
“Funny how no one else seems to be able to read me so easily.”
He grins, leaning his head back to watch me. “So? What’s on your mind?”
“Do you think I’m making a mistake by letting Colin meet Bailey?” I blurt, not realizing that’s what’s going to come out.
Des watches me, tilting his head from side to side. “No,” he finally answers.
“Sometimes I just want to tell him to take a hike. He lost his chance at being a father, he doesn’t get another one.”
“So, why don’t you?”
I chew my lip. “Because of Bailey. I couldn’t live with myself if she was angry with me later on after finding out that I refused to let her know her father. I want to keep her to myself—keep things how they’ve always been, just the two of us—but I know that’s not what’s best for her.”
“All you can do is protect her, then,” he answers, echoing my own thoughts. “You just make sure she has you in her corner all the time, and make sure Colin treats her right.”
I nod. “Yeah. It’s just hard, you know? It’s been me and Bailey against the world for so long, it’s strange to let anyone in.” I give him a rueful smile. “It’s strange to let you in.”
“Am I in? I still feel like I’m banging against the door, waiting for a response.”
I click my tongue. “I’m not that bad.”
He chuckles, squeezing his hands on my hip again. “No. You aren’t.”
“I know I’m closed off,” I admit. “Ever since Colin left, it’s been hard for me to trust anyone.”
“He left when you were pregnant?”
I nod, throat closing up. After those first few horrible weeks, when we decided to break up, I poured all my focus into my pregnancy, then into Bailey. I haven’t even spoken to my parents or sister about all this—not beyond the basics. But it’s been a decade; I should be able to make the words come out now, with Des’s arms encircling me. “We didn’t want kids,” I admit. “He was very clear about that from the start. I thought I agreed, and we were happily married for a while. I ended up going off the birth control pill because it was messing with my mood too much, and I guess we weren’t as careful as we should have been. It wasn’t entirely surprising that I became pregnant, when I think about it.”
“And he still left?”
“He wanted me to get rid of her.” I huff. “I refused, and that was it.”
Des’s eyes are shadowed. His hands coast gently over my hip and thigh, his warmth surrounding me completely.
“The divorce was amicable. As amicable as it could be, I guess. I was devastated, but I had a kid to take care of. My priorities changed.”
“I understand why you don’t want him here,” Des says, shaking his head. “I don’t know if I’d be able to be the bigger person in your situation.”
