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“You get used to putting your kid first,” I answer, snorting. “Comes with the territory.” I touch his jaw, then let my fingers drop to the collar of his shirt. I trace its outline, shaking my head. “I haven’t dated anyone since Bailey was born because I couldn’t stand the thought of my daughter feeling the way I did when Colin left.” And I couldn’t bear the thought of going through it again, but that’s harder to say out loud. I don’t want Des to think I’m trying to trap him with me.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he says gently, reading my mind once more. He catches my gaze and holds it, dark eyes deathly serious. “I’m right here, Mia.”
“I haven’t scared you away?”
“You’ll have to try a lot harder if you want me to leave,” he answers, pulling me in for a kiss. Something shifts between us, clicks into place. I feel it in the way our lips move, in the way we cling to each other. I kiss him hard, letting myself fall down, down, down…
“Bedroom,” I say between kisses.
He pulls back. “You sure?” He glances down the hallway.
“She’s asleep,” I reply, then climb off his lap to lead him to the master bedroom. I pause in front of Bailey’s door to make sure she is, in fact, asleep, then continue on to my room. “We have to be quiet,” I tell him.
“That’s on you,” he answers, eyes glittering in the low light. Then his arms are around me, and I’m carried to bed.
It’s hard to describe how much this man affects me. It’s like I’ve been stumbling around in the dark for a decade, and I finally found a pinprick of light in the distance to guide me out. He’s a lifeline in a stormy sea that I never expected to grab onto. I never realized how cold I was until I felt his warmth.
He breathes life back into me with every kiss, every touch.
Bodies bare in the darkness, we cling to each other and whisper sweet, dirty secrets. He tells me I’m beautiful, I taste amazing, I’m perfect. He makes me feel like I’ll never be alone again, like I’ve finally found somewhere that’s safe and steady.
Then he shatters me into a million tiny pieces, until all I know is a kaleidoscope of pleasure.
Panting, skin to skin, I come back to myself and press my lips to the soft skin of his shoulder. Despite everything that happened today, my world is right again. But the seconds tick by, and reality comes knocking.
“Des,” I start. “I want you to stay the night, but…”
“You don’t want Bailey to be confused.”
“There’s just a lot going on with Colin in town,” I explain, hating myself a little bit. The last thing I want to do is kick Des out, but what choice do I have? I have to put my daughter first. I won’t have Des walking out of my bedroom, making Bailey ask him when he’s going to propose.
“I get it,” Des replies before pressing his lips to my forehead.
“Thank you. I’m sorry.”
“Hey.” He gathers me in his arms and kisses my lips. “Don’t be sorry. I want to stay. But if I’m here when Bailey wakes up, I don’t know if I’ll survive the questioning.”
I huff a laugh, then watch Des dress in the dark. Finding a robe to wrap around myself, I pad down the hallway behind him and follow him through the barbershop. The lock slides open with a soft snick, and I stand there shivering in the cold.
He wraps me in his warmth once more, then kisses me softly. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he promises.
“Okay.”
“Can you come to dinner at my grandparents’ house? Maude was asking.”
Reality comes slamming into me. I bite my lip. “I can’t. We’re meeting Colin again,” I admit. “I’m sorry. Rain check?”
Des clears his throat and nods. He drops his arms from around me and takes half a step back. It feels like a chasm. “Yeah. Sure. Let me know when you’re free.”
“He’ll be gone by next Saturday,” I tell him. And thank goodness for that. As much as I’m pretending to be the bigger person, I really don’t feel like dealing with my ex-husband for more than a week.
When Des leaves the barbershop, I feel emptier than I did before.
31
DES
“Where’s Mia, dear?”my grandmother asks as she heaps mashed potatoes onto my plate.
