AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Colin rocks back on his heels and shoves a hand through his hair. “I know. Fuck, I know, Mia. I’m sorry. Look, I’m just trying to do the right thing, here. I’m trying to be a father.”
“Well, good for you,” I spit. “You’re about ten years too late, though.”
Then I stomp around to the driver’s side and get in, slamming the door. I start the engine, and it’s not until we turn down the back lane where our apartment door is that Bailey speaks.
“What happened?” Her voice is small, tentative—nothing like she usually is.
I park outside the door and let out a long sigh, hands sliding off the steering wheel. Then I wrestle my expression into something (hopefully) neutral and turn to meet my daughter’s worried gaze.
“Don’t worry about it, Bailey,” I say, forcing a smile. “It’s a grown-up issue.”
She doesn’t seem convinced, but my daughter nods and exits the car. We snuggle on the couch and watch a movie together, then go to bed early. Bailey has school tomorrow, and I learned a long time ago that routine is paramount, no matter what else is going on.
It’s not until I’m lying on my bed that I look at my phone. There’s a text from Des.
Des:How was dinner? My grandma missed you, btw.
I read the text over a few times, then let my arms fall down to my sides. I’m sotired. It was selfish of me to think that I could start a relationship with a man at a time like this. I need to be there for Bailey; I need to make sure she’s my priority.
It’s weak to want Des here beside me. It’s selfish of me to wish Colin had never shown up. Life was so much easier when I was on my own—even if it was a lot bleaker.
I’ve made so, so many mistakes lately. But hey—what else is new. That’s how I’ve operated my entire life.
Putting my phone on the bedside table, I curl up on my side and let sleep take me away.
Des showsup at the barbershop the next day and takes a seat in one of the chairs near the door while I finish up a haircut for Hamish, Margaret’s beau. When he’s paid and left, Des stands and walks toward me.
My heart speeds up. There’s a war going on inside me, a push and pull that threatens to tear me apart. On the one hand, I want to run to Des and let him wrap me up in his arms. I want to bury myself in his embrace and never come up for air.
But on the other, I want to stand on my own and be strong. Nothing can stop me from doing what’s right for Bailey. If (or when) this man walks away from me, I need to ensure it won’t break me completely. Scrambling, I use anything I can to build my defenses back up, to protect myself from the assault this man wages on me.
“You never answered my text,” he says, approaching slowly. “Is everything okay?”
I spin the barber’s chair toward him and give him a grim smile. “Define ‘okay.’”
He huffs and takes a seat. My hands find their way to his shoulders, smoothing the wrinkles in his button-down shirt. I watch him in the mirror, this big, burly man, and feel a strange, painful twist in the center of my chest. I take my hands away from him. I should know by now that touching Des is dangerous.
“How was dinner?” he finally asks.
My palms itch to smooth over his hair, to touch his shoulders, to feel the warmth of his skin against mine, but I curl them into fists to stop myself. I’m relying too much on Des’s strength and support. “Dinner was okay.”Until Colin dropped a bomb on me.“How was your evening?”
Maybe if I keep him at arm’s length, it won’t hurt so much when he leaves.
Des holds my gaze in the mirror, frowning for a moment. Then his expression clears and he shrugs. “My grandparents missed you.”
“I would have much preferred to have dinner with them,” I answer, smiling a little bit too wide for it to look real.
Des huffs. “I’ll let them know. They might call you to keep them company for the next couple of weeks.”
“What happens in the next couple of weeks?”
“I’m going back to Lovers’ Peak. I’ve got a few things to sort out.”
Keeping my eyes on the back of his head for a moment, I let the words sink in. Then I clear my throat and move to the little counter by the mirror, angling my head so he can’t see my face. I don’t want him to see whatever’s written there. I’m sure he’d be able to see right through me to all the bitterness inside.
He told me he’d leave, didn’t he? He warned me.
Still, my blood runs cold and my heart beats unsteadily. I didn’t think it would hurt this much to hear that he decided to go through with it.
