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At his uncivilized growl, liquid heat lights up my neck, spreading upwards until I just know my cheeks are as red as Harry’s face when he goes out in the summer without his sunscreen.
I bet his royal presumptuousness can practically feel the heat radiating off them from ten feet away.
“And what? You’d fuck me and then put your clothes on and leave? How do you think I’d feel afterwards?”
“We can make rules,” he replies. “No leaving with an hour of fucking. Or no leaving without spending the night. I’m willing to work with you on this…”
“Work with me?! Hey, don’t do me any favors. You’re the one that waltzed back into my life tonight to make some lukewarm suggestion about you getting to fuck me whenever you wanted to, no strings attached!”
“It wouldn’t just be formybenefit,” he retorts. “It would be for both of ours. Or can you deny you’ve spent the last two months thinking about me?”
“You’re such anasshole!”
He takes another step forwards until I can practically feel his breath on my face. “Because that’s what I've been doing about you, day and fucking night, and that’s why I’m here suggesting something that I know will hurt at times… because the alternative, your absence, is no longer an option if I want to hold onto any semblance of sanity.” His eyes drop to my lips for a moment before finding my incensed glare. “I’m offering you my body to use until such time as you don’t want me anymore, you don’t miss me, you don’t ache to hear my voice, the way I've ached to hear yours. What do you say?”
What do I say?
I want to curse words of outrage, to throw him out, to ask him how he dare suggest something like that to me… but the truth is that that night we spent together did more than just move me—it removed something from me, or at least some of it—the feel of someone else who took a piece of me without consent.
It removed the skin-crawling horror of feeling out of control, the black ice of fear, the rage transforming into terror, and the contamination I have felt since.
I haven’t felt as infected by someone else’s unwanted touch since. I didn’t seize up the way I did with Kohl, even though he never forced me.
Grey’s touch was like the water of some pool, continually filled by a waterfall originating in the clouds. It was cleansing. It was powerful. It was transcendent.
But… Could I do it? Use his body to rid me of the poison I have felt, to allow me to take pleasure once again?
And what of the consequences? Wouldn’t I just end up in more emotional distress?
As I stare up at him, my body buzzes in anticipation.
“I can’t,” I say, shaking my head, only for him to close the gap between us quickly, his palm finding the wall next to my head as my hands push into the hard muscle of his chest beneath his crisp light-gray shirt.
He dips his head, eyes boring into me. “Why not?”
“Because… I’ll end up getting hurt. You don’t care about that part of things, do you?”
“I told you I won’t touch anyone else. You can use me for as long as you want… until you don’t need me anymore. I’m not in any hurry to move on from you. It’ll take as long as it takes.”
Use me…
The thought of having ready and exclusive access to that talented body of his addles my brain for a second and as my fingers slide against the sold slabs of his pecs, it’s all I can do to stop myself from wondering how hard the rest of him is.
“Use you?”
“Yes.”
“Aren’t you some big Alpha Dom who gives orders and requires control?”
“Indeed,” he replies. “And that will be happening.”
Fuck…
“But those words should show you how desperate I am if I’m making such an offer.”
“Desperate to get me out of your system…”
He must hear the somber note in my voice, for his eyes soften. “Desperate for relief from this torment, Indigo.”
