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“I don’t know. He’s got that repressed emotionally unavailable Alpha energy about him.”
“I’ll have to give you that one,” I concede, knowing full well that behind the man, something’s hiding. As ridiculous as it sounds, I see a wolf peering out of the shadows when I think of him.
“Look, you’re both damaged. Maybe this is his way of not adding to that. You can let him know clearly what you do and don’t like, and what will never be on the menu.”
“What does it mean, exactly?” I ask. “Soft limit.”
“It means… you’re dubious about something but open to exploring it.”
“Like stuff you secretly want but are afraid to ask for?”
“Yeah. You must have some of those? We all do.”
“I do, but writing it down on paper, for fuck’s sake…”
“He’s not asking you to put your name on it or sign it, is he?”
“No. But it’s… You should have seen the assertive way he handed it to me and the way he was watching my face as I saw the words. I honestly thought I was gonna melt into the floorboards.”
“Let’s see this as a positive thing. He wants to know what to avoid to make you uncomfortable. Half the men I've been with didn’t give a shit, so how about you start with the hard limits? What’s definitely off the table?”
“I don’t know,” I sigh out. “Anal? I guess…” My only experience of that was with Micah… and it was not a…
I drop my head, suddenly feeling winded at the memory. And cold. Cold as ice. I keep trying to block this stuff out, and it works, for the most, but the sudden waves of malaise that come over me when flashes of that day come back, making me feel like I’m back at square one.
“You okay?”
Breathe…
I lift my head. “Yeah. I’m good. You know, maybe I do want to try that…”
Or maybe I want Grey to replace the feel of that man.
“Okaayyy.” She takes a sip of something from a mug. “Maybe it’s a soft limit? Like, you’d be open to trying it.”
“Yeah, but I can’t write that word down. It’s embarrassing.”
“He really doesn’t seem like the type that would be judgmental,” Fran jests.
“Oh, fuck it.”
I write the word quickly before I lose my nerve.
Soft limit
Anal
“Okay, what else?” Fran says with a smile.
“I don’t want him to ever… not respect the safe word… or deliberately make it impossible for me to say it.”
“Okay. So that’s a hard limit.”
“Right.”
Hard limit
Not respecting the safe word or preventing me from saying it.
