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‘I idealised you,’ he said slowly. ‘I made you into the woman I wanted you to be. That’s why I insisted you came to our marriage as a virgin—not because your grandfather would be angry—’
‘Well, he would.’
‘Neh,neh, I know that,’ he said impatiently. ‘But my main motivator was that a virginal bride fitted my view of perfect womanhood. I looked on it as an old-fashioned arranged marriage. That’s why I never told you I loved you, even though I knew how much you wanted me to,’ he continued, and now his words became heavy. ‘Because I didn’t.’
‘You...didn’t?’ she choked out, though the expression in her eyes suggested he was only confirming what she already knew.
‘No. But don’t take it personally. I’m not capable of loving anyone, Mia, and since you were nothing but a figment of my imagination how could I possibly love someone who didn’t really exist?’
He could see her throat working.
‘But you didn’t really exist either, did you, Theo?’ she whispered. ‘You married me because you claim to have wanted a happy family, but you weren’t prepared to contribute anything to get it, were you?’
‘I was earning—’
‘I’m not talking aboutmoney! Everything with you comes back to the money, doesn’t it?’ she yelled. ‘I’m talking about emotion! All the emotion you held back, like a miser hoarding his gold.’ She sucked in a ragged breath. ‘How can you possibly bring children into this world if you aren’t prepared to show them love?’
‘Maybe because I didn’t know how?’
‘But you’re an intelligent man. You could have learnt.’
‘You really believe that, do you?’ he questioned mockingly. ‘That love is something you can be taught—like maths, or tennis?’
‘That’s what I had to do. To teach myself,’ she said simply. ‘Because I never got any at home, either.’
And suddenly Theo was reminded of the first time he’d seen her. How, behind her tenderness towards the wounded puppy, he had detected a deep sense of hurt in her eyes. A sense of being alone, which he had identified with. He had wanted to reach out and tell her that, but something had stopped him. It was stopping him now and it always would. Because he couldn’t give her what she needed. And she couldn’t give him what he wanted. He didn’t want her world of messy emotion, and pain.
‘What’s done is done,’ he said, with brutal finality. ‘And there’s no point in raking over it.’
‘I agree. Which is why we really can’t continue with this farce of a marriage. I can’t stay here like this—playing this fictitious role as your wife, which is going to get more complicated the longer it goes on. I need to go back to my real life. I feel...’ She dragged in a breath. ‘I feel so happy to have seen Pappous and I’m very grateful that you made me come here. The fact that my visit has coincided with, or caused him to enjoy, better health is, of course—wonderful. But now it’s starting to scare me.’
Theo frowned. ‘Why?’
‘Can’t you work it out for yourself? Because we’ve deceived him.’ She bit her lip and he could see the shimmer of tears in her eyes. ‘How is he going to react when he finds out what we’ve done? He’ll probably be hurt and angry. Dear God—the shock could kill him.’
He shook his head. ‘Your grandfather is made of stronger stuff than that,’ he negated.
‘You hope.’
Theo allowed his mind to assimilate all the facts, as if this were nothing but a question of logistics, and the sweet tremble of her lips undoubtedly influenced his next question. ‘You wouldn’t consider staying on—at least until your course starts in September? Like I said, I could easily have my office arrange for someone to cover your housekeeping role.’
‘You mean...carry on?’ She stared at him. ‘Like this?’
‘Is “this” really so bad, then, Mia?’ he mocked softly. ‘Good sex. Good company. I could live with that for a while longer. Couldn’t you?’
She was shaking her head, the glossy curls glowing like a sunset. ‘You just don’t get it, do you, Theo?’ she breathed.
Should he ask her to elaborate? Behind the set line of his lips, he gritted his teeth. No. He didn’t want her to highlight their differences or present him with a catalogue of complaints about his behaviour. He just wanted this conversation to end, and for that they needed to decide what to tell Georgios when they got back to Greece. The truth, probably. No more lies. The important thing was that the old man had healed the rift with his granddaughter and nothing else really mattered. Mia would go and he might miss her, but it would only be for a while. He’d had sex with her now. She was no longer a mystery. And she knew now that he had never loved her.
Her phone began to ring and shattered the silence, but she ignored it.
Almost immediately, his own began to clamour.
‘I’d better...’ he said.
Her face was filled with scorn. ‘Of course.’
But this wasn’t the welcome interruption of work. He knew it was bad news the moment he accepted the call. A number and a voice he didn’t recognise, filled with the careful compassion of someone doling out professional sympathy. He listened for a while in a state of unnatural calm and when he had terminated the call, he looked into Mia’s sea-blue eyes, trying to find the right words.
