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One thing I know: if I am alive, being here with me is the last place I want Charlie. It’s not safe for her here. I’m not safe for her. I couldn’t protect myself. I didn’t see this coming.
How could I possibly protect her?
If I live, I’ll do exactly what she told me to.
Forget about her.
21
Charlie
My slippered feetpad against the wood floors as I make my way to the front door. I’ve not bothered to change out of my PJs today; instead, I just tied a big, fluffy pink robe over them. I did brush my teeth and throw my hair in a cute messy bun this morning at least.
I open the door, holding the Lush box out to Aiden. “White or dark?”
He stares straight ahead, his hands folding in front of him. “You know I’m not supposed to take my eyes off the perimeter for a single second, ma’am.”
On the long ride home, Aiden and I discovered that we had something in common. We’re both chocolate lovers. “White or dark?”
He gives a pretend sigh. “If you’re going to make me break protocol, I guess… white. The one with the almond paste in it, please?”
“Sure thing.” I scan the box, finding two of the ones he wants. “Here you go. I’ll be back with your coffee in an hour.” He likes a four o’clock espresso. It keeps him focused till his night replacement comes so he can catch a few hours of sleep.
He breaks character for a moment, shooting me a beaming grin. “Thanks, Charlie.”
I pad my way back to my sofa, sinking into the little nest I’ve created since I’ve been back. I bite into an oval-shaped dark chocolate. The inside is filled with crunchy coconut. I gag.
See? I knew I was cursed.
I spit it out into a clean tissue and toss it in the small trash can under the end table.
Smoothing my blanket over my lap—castle-side down because I can’t bear to look at it right now—I pick up the remote, flipping through my options. I choose a cheesy rom-com I’ve seen at least three times.
She wants to love him, but scars from her loveless childhood are holding her back. Sound familiar? Spoiler alert, she gets over her fears, her hurts, and gets the guy. They live happily ever after in a little teal and yellow craftsman-style bungalow in Seattle, drinking coffees at the table outside the café where they first met when he spilled an espresso on her white sweater during the meet-cute, joined by their adorable goldendoodle.
I pop another chocolate in my mouth. This time, I triple checked the map on the lid of the package to be sure it’s a good one. Mmm… caramel. My favorite.
The simple taste of the buttery caramel literally tears my heart in two. Cue the tears. Grab the tissues. It’s the very same treat I ate at his castle. It reminds me of his sweet gesture, of how he added them onto my order as a surprise. I brought them with me. They’re the chocolates I’m eating right now. When I ate that caramel chocolate in my bedroom in the castle, I remember how I was thinking of how happy I was to not be alone.
Buried under blankets and tissues.
Crying on my couch.
Much like I am now…
I think of how happy I was.
A wail bursts forth from me, echoing through my empty townhouse. The sound just makes me feel more self-hatred for the pathetic state I’ve put myself in. I’m right back where I was the night he chased me down at the club.
All the magic is drained from my life.
I’m back to Charlie the flower wearing, casserole baking, party planner… of other people’s parties.
Geez, they’re not even my own celebrations, are they? I couldn’t tell you the last time I celebrated something. My cursed wedding?
Another wail creeps up and I try to hold it back but then the movie gets to the part where he accidentally hits her dog with his car and he’s carrying the poor pup’s limp body, running across the street to a vet, and she’s standing on the street, crying, not sure if the dog is going to make it and I freaking lose it.
Shannon went home to be with her mom and sisters for a while. The few hours I was consoling her, she kept talking about her family back home. I thought it would be best if she was surrounded by them. I got Rockland to organize the jet for her and helped her pack. The Beauties don’t need me like the girls at the castle did. They have their men, their lives. Their children.
