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The gnawing guilt I felt all night long, that kept me tossing and turning, sleepless, blooms heavier in my stomach. I have no doubt that Cohen will come here, and that he’ll make a big deal about being able to teach me things that they can’t.
I definitely need to tell them about him before he gets here. Except, as soon as I open my mouth to broach the subject, nothing comes out.
Goddammit.
Cohen’s stupid gag spell is still in effect. But I suppose that makes sense, in order to tell them about Cohen coming here to train me, I’d have to explain about him attacking me and Merritt in the woods, taking me into the tunnels under Septem Stellae and told me he’s a witch not attached to a coven, that he has all kinds of power that they don’t and he’d expressly forbid that.
That knot of guilt gets bigger, sitting like a lump in my stomach and my mouth is still hanging open, so I make myself say, “morning,” before shuffling over to the fancy coffee maker and then just staring at all the knobs and dials. “Is there… Is there just a pot of coffee?”
Ezra chuckles and steps up behind me, pressing a kiss to my neck, before he gently nudges me out of the way. “I’ll make one for you.”
I smile my thanks at him and then go to the fridge, tugging it open to find it fully stocked. I can feel all of their eyes on me, following me around, and I wish they’d just stop. Just carry on with their conversation or start a new one that is Rosalind appropriate. But they don’t. The weight of this interaction is on me.
I sigh and swing the door of the fridge shut, turning to eye Fielder and Gideon while the espresso machine hisses. “So, what’s the plan for today?”
Fielder’s green eyes sweep over me again, taking in my pajama shorts and tank top. I didn’t bother to brush my hair or teeth or anything. We’ve spent enough mornings together for them to know what I look like after I’ve woken up. His expression goes soft when he gets to the scar between my breasts, just barely visible from the scooping neck of my tank.
“We thought we’d take today to gather our bearings and make a plan,” Gideon answers, still slicing fruit. “We each have things we want to teach you, and think it would be best if we set aside a couple hours of the day for some one-on-one sessions.”
“And then a couple of hours for group casting.” Ezra hands me a steaming mug of foam topped coffee and then nudges me around the island toward a stool.
I frown down at the heart in the foam that is adorable and in no way deserves my displeasure. “But group casting won’t be a part of the trials. Why should I spend time learning them now?”
Fielder tugs me the rest of the way to the stool and uses a hand on my shoulder to get me to sit. “We don’t know for sure what will be in your trial, Sweeney. We want you to have as much information as possible.”
Hardin flicks off all the switches on the stove and reaches for a stack of plates nearby. “Its possible that they’ll try to trip you up with a trial that requires more than one person.”
“Wait. What? They can do that? How will I know? And how will I get others to help if I don’t know anyone but you? They want me to fail. They won’t allow four of the seven heirs to help me. Your dad will say it’s an unfair advantage.”
Fielder’s hand makes a soothing sweep down my back, then up to nestle under my tangled hair at the base of my neck. “Relax, Ro,” He murmurs, leaning over to drop a kiss onto my shoulder. “If the trial requires multiple witches, they provide them. And the nature of the magic is such that so long as you know what you’re doing, they will too. They won’t be able to sabotage it from inside.”
I swallow, and try to calm my too rapidly beating heart, my fingers running up and down my scar in an unconscious motion that I’ve done since it healed.
Hardin slides a plate in front of me full of food, while Gideon scoops a bit of fruit salad into a bowl and Ezra brings me silverware. “You’ll be fine, love. We’ll make sure of it.”
I eye all of them. “Is that what you were talking about when I came in? How to make sure I’ll be fine?” I flick my eyes over to Fielder, who runs a hand through his blond curls. “I know you were using one of your spells, so I couldn’t understand what you were saying.”
“Too smart for your own good, sweetheart,” Gideon mutters, taking the stool next to me with his own plate piled high with food.
Fielder doesn’t meet my gaze as he pushes up from his seat to grab his own breakfast. “That’s not what we were talking about.”
“Then what?” I pick up a sausage and bite into it.
“He used that spell for a reason, Ro,” Ezra says gently, pointing out the obvious.
Right.So that I wouldn’t hear what they were saying, which means they aren’t going to tell me even though I’ve asked flat out what they’re keeping from me.
My eyes sting and I blink rapidly while staring at the gold veining in the marble. Then I push up from the stool and carefully step around it, taking my mug of caffeine with me. “I’m going to get ready for the day. Let me know when you want to start training.”
“You haven’t eaten!” Hardin protests, standing there with a plate in his hand.
“I’m not hungry,” I mutter before leaving them to their super secret conversation.
I know I can’t really be all that upset at them and that I am a hypocrite of the worst degree. I have an enormous secret I’m keeping from them, something that I know they need to know, but I haven’t told them.
But it’s not like that’s purposeful. If I didn’t have a magical gag order on me, I would have told them about Cohen as soon as they found me in that tunnel. I can’t though.
I’m pretty sure they just don’t want to tell me.
